Howl
by Capp'n
Summary: Willow and Angel's friendship changes but he doesn't want to give up on Buffy.After Willow runs away, no one knows where she is and their lives are turned upside down.Can Angel accept the feelings he has for her? And if he does, how will he even find her?
1. I'm making to attack

**Willow's POV**

_Whoosh._

I loved that sound. I loved it because as soon as I heard it, the anxiety and fear I had built up after spotting a vampire and just kept amping as I fought it, completely dissappated with that sound. Standing up and letting out a deep breath, I dusted away the...well, dust that had once been an especially vicious-looking Vampire. One that seemed to want only _my_ blood. Wierd...

"You okay?" Buffy asked me, walking over after dusting her own handful of Vamps. I was pathetic. Barely able to handle one. She saw the look of defeat on my face. "Hey, come on. He was big!" she said, trying to cheer me up. I scoffed.

"He was normal."

"He was as big as Angel." she argued.

"Yeah." Angel murmured, barely intelligible above the wind. That's how low he seemed to talk. I wanted to roll my eyes. Yeah, I stuttered alot and rambled and babbled, but why did it always seem like he didn't want to talk? Unless it was to Buffy, of course. Then, I'm sure he chatted all night long. But I barely heard more than a few words at a time from him. And they were always low grumbles that seemed forced for Buffy's sake.

"Thanks." I told him brightly. No matter how mean he was, I couldn't bring it in myself to be mean back to him. "Are we done?" I asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah." She turned back to Angel. "You want to-"

She was cut off from the startled shriek that left my mouth as I was pummeled to the ground. I turned over somehow, but the Vamp was still over me, yanking my neck to the side. I struggled against him, not really doing much damage. My hand, which held my stake, was pinned against my body by his own body. "Get...off...ugh...of me." I grit out. I shoved my head forward, clocking him in the nose with my forehead and he reeled back. Pain shot through my head.

And then Buffy was there, the guy was dust sprinkling over my face and clothes. I coughed, holding my pounding head in my hands. "Will?"

"Why the hell are they all after me tonight?" I whined. "God! Do I have a tattoo on my forehead saying 'Easy Pickings' or something?"

"Well..." Angel started. He shut up when Buffy shot a glare. I took Buffy's offered hand and stood.

"What, Angel?" He stood more rigidly. "No. I want to know...what were you going to say?"

"You...look like easy pickings. You're small-"

"So is Buffy!" I protested.

He continued like I hadn't interrupted. "You're girly instead of muscley. And...well, you're bleeding." He pointed to his lip and I mimicked the action, placing my fingertip over my mouth and pulling it back to look. Sure enough, a pretty sizable amount of blood was there. I'd tasted the blood before my assumed I'd bit my tongue or something. I immediately sucked in my bottom lip, seeking to sooth it with my tongue. I dabbed at it again but the blood just kept coming. Angel cleared his throat.

"Wills..." Buffy started.

I looked up, dazed. My head was still hurting and my vision was a little spotty. "Huh?"

"Well...you're bleeding and practically playing with it in front of a Vampire." she started.

I giggled, waving my hand out in his direction. "Don't let the big bad blood get too close." I taunted, jokingly. I don't know why I was even joking with Angel. Or why I was joking about him wanting my blood. It wasn't something I'd usually do, even if I did know Angel better than the nothing I knew of him in reality.

He flinched back from me and clenched his jaw. I immediately felt like poo for the teasing and started to think of a way to apologize. I didn't realize I was swaying on my feet and had let my hand drop. Then I started feeling very dizzy and I stopped thinking and looked to my best friend, worried. "Buffy..." I started, but I didn't finish. The black was closing in quick and then I was dropping down. Falling. Into nothing.

**Angel's POV**

I caught her. Buffy may be slightly stronger than me, but I'd had two hundred years experience, so my reflexes were sharper. I saw her sway and my brow had only started to furrow when she went down.

I grabbed her before she hit the ground and hoisted her into my arms. She was light as a feather and as I held her closer, her blood seemed to taunt me. I grit my teeth and refused to breath.

"You got her?" Buffy asked. I nodded. "Probably just hurt herself with that headbutt earlier. Come on. We'll take her home." Buffy started off before me and I grabbed Willow's hands so they wouldn't dangle. I brought them to her stomach and supported her shoulders. I caught sight of the still-fresh blood on her right hand's fingers. I would not lick her fingers.

So I started after Buffy. Willow's hand slipped away, the bloody one, and went dangling again. I couldn't just let it dangle or she'd have a sore shoulder later. So I grabbed her hand again and held it to her body with my hand.

We got to Willow's quickly and I followed Buffy to the porch. I'd never been inside before. "Willow?" Buffy asked.

"Mmmm." came from the sleeping girl.

"Invite Angel in so he can put you in your bed."

"Commin Anggell." she murmured. I smiled and stepped over the threshold, following Buffy through the eerily quiet house and into a bedroom upstairs. Even if I'd not been led, I would have figured out it was Willow's.

The three main things being: A large desk with a computer _and_ laptop. Books EVERYWHERE. And a small collection of stuffed animals lined on a shelf. Definitely Willow.

I took her over to her bed, pulled the covers back and placed her inside. "I'll get something to clean her hand and lip." Buffy said, quickly vacating the room. I used the oppurtunity, without even thinking, to stick my fingers in my mouth. The blood that had 'accidentally' got on my fingers would not be wasted.

I nearly groaned at the sensation. I didn't drink it from a live source but it was still warm and incredibly sweet. I could only imagine what it would be like to taste it straight from Willow when it was hyped up with fear or excitement.

"Got it!" Buffy called, entering the room. I quickly composed myself, standing stock still as she washed Willow's hand and mouth. I looked away from the sleeping redhead's flushed cheeks and walked to the door. "Alright." Buffy said, tossing the rag onto the girl's nightstand and following me out.

"Don't you want to tell her parents so they can check on her?" I asked. "She could have a concussion."

"Her parents probably aren't here." Buffy answered quickly. "Hardly ever are."

I stopped in the entryway as Buffy opened the door. "So, you don't want to stay with her?"

She smiled and walked forward, pressing herself against me. "Rather stay with you."

A small part of me was irritated by this. She should want to help her friend. But a bigger part was stoked that she wanted to stay with me. So I smiled and shut Willow's front door as I followed her out.


	2. It starts so soft and sweet

**Willow's POV**

I was aware of a dull throb in my head before my eyes even opened, squinting against the sunlight. Oh yeah. I got hurt last night, patrolling.

Big surprise, there was nobody here. Still, I couldn't be upset. It's not like I really expecting it. I glanced at the clock. It was Saturday. My head hit the pillow again and I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes again, seven hours later, I was amazed that I could sleep so long. The sun was setting outside and I was irritated that I'd slept my day away but happy that my headache was gone. I went straight to the bathroom, taking a long hot shower and brushing my teeth.

I came back into my room, realizing it was now dark outside. I lotioned up, put underwear and jeans on, brushed my hair out and then quickly found a tanktop and hoodie to put on.

I had barely finished when a loud pounding came on my door. I knew it was time for patrol so I grabbed a stake, my keys, and a small bottle of Holy Water. I hurried downstairs to the door and threw it open to Xander and Buffy. "Patrol. Let's go." Buffy said casually. Well, hello to you too.

**Angel's POV**

I only wanted to check on her. After Buffy and I had made out and talked, we'd fallen asleep. She left almost as soon as she woke up, and I'd spent the day wondering if Willow was okay. Would Buffy go check on her?

Her parents weren't there. What if the injury had been worse than we thought? And we'd all left her there. Her supposed best friend hadn't even seemed worried about her.

So as soon as the sun was gone, I set out to Willow's house. I knocked, but there was no answer. I listened closely, hearing the sound of water and a heartbeat. And the sound of her soft murmuring. Okay, so she was alive. And she sung in the shower.

That's all I'd came to find out. So I don't know why I climbed up the trellis to her balcony. I don't know why. But almost as soon as I swung over the railing, she walked into her room. Sweet, innocent, compassionate, naive Willow was wearing nothing but a towel. And as much as I tried to not think about it...my mouth still went dry.

So...she had a nice little body under those overalls and sweaters. That was a big shock. I figured she'd be thin and shapeless. God, was I wrong. She placed the towel on the railing of her bed, giving me an eyeful of her bare backside. I groaned and grit my teeth until she slid into a pair of white boy short panties. What was wierd was that I even found that hot.

Buffy wore thongs. I'd caught glimpses of her ass on many occasions when she wore skimpy little skirts. I'd seen the tops of them when she wore anything else. But Willow wore boyshorts. They covered more than ordinary cotton panties yet they had some sort of tempting seductiveness about them, shaping perfectly to her ass. Teetering on the edge between sexy and coy. And I could imagine that the material was some sort of soft micro-fiber instead of whatever scratchy polyester blend that thongs were made of. She put on a matching bra with a little pink bow between her breasts and then she sat on her bed and started to smother her legs and arms in lotion.

Did she know that I was out here? Because I couldn't imagine someone doing something so casually but also so sexually arousing without meaning to turn someone on. No, that's stupid. Willow isn't like that. She was just casually putting lotion on her legs and I was twisting it into something sexual. She was...mesmerizing.

And right when I was going to make myself look away, she stood, stretching out her body like a lazy cat. My breath caught and then she dug through her drawers and slid into a pair of jeans. Not incredibly, gut-busting tight like Buffy's, but enough to show her curves. I groaned aloud that time.

Right then, wearing unbuttoned jeans and a bra, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. The sexiest image I could think of that didn't actually involve sex. Innocent but tempting. Alluring and naive. Casual but somehow looking like she'd worn it just for me.

Thank God, she stayed that way for a moment as she towel-dried and then brushed her hair out. She yanked on a soft-looking gray tanktop and then a dark emerald-green sweatshirt on that absolutely popped against her hair, bringing out her green eyes. Green was definitely her color. Well, so was white. And gray. And blue. Oh...and pink. I remembered that sweater. And red. And black. Fuck! She'd look good in anything. Or in nothing at all.

A loud bang came from below and I shook my head suddenly, realizing I'd just thought my girlfriend's best friend was hot. What the hell was wrong with me? Willow scurried around her room, grabbing a stake and some other things and I smiled. She didn't want to keep them waiting. That was sweet.

**Willow's POV**

"Hey." came that gruff yet smooth voice we'd all come to recognize. Angel came over to us from the shadows and gave Buffy a little smile. She kissed him and we all kept going forward without another word. I didn't even greet him that time. I was tired of never getting a response. Unless he decided to grace me with a curt nod, that is.

"So..." Buffy started, glancing around as if to encompass us all in her conversation. "Anything interesting go on today for anybody?"

"I slept for almost fourteen straight hours after you guys brought me back last night." I offered.

"Damn! Almost beat my record." Xander quipped. Then he grew serious. "Buff told me what happened. You feel better now?"

"Yup." I said, offering a smile. "Little throbby but no biggie."

"Speaking of no biggie...there is NOTHING going on out here." Buffy whined, glancing around the cemetary we'd been walking through. She was telling the truth. There hadn't been any vampire-involved deaths that we needed to look into so it was just regular patrol. And on that front, we were coming up empty. "So, whaddaya say?" she smirked. "Bronze fun?"

I looked to Xander and shrugged. "Sure." We said in unison. She grinned hugely, pressing herself into Angel as we walked toward the Bronze and she practically begged for him to come too. Ugh. Yay, broodyness to bring us down. Oh, come on, Willow, that's not his fault. He feels guilty. I knew I was just mad because he's pretty much indifferent to me all the time, like everyone else, even when he's around all the time for Buffy. At least Cordelia insulted me. She made me feel like dirt, but at least dirt was there. Not invisible and unwanted. I got enough of the invisible thing from my parents.


	3. And turns them to hunters

**Willow's POV**

We made it to the Bronze in only minutes and found our normal table was empty. We all sat around and listened to the music in silence. Cordelia joined us soon after and she started chatting with Xander. I was bobbing my head to the surprisingly good live band.

"Hey!" Buffy said suddenly. "Will, isn't that Oz?" I followed her pointed finger to the stage and smiled as I caught sight of him playing guitar.

"Yep, that's him." I told her, still watching him.

"Who's Oz?" Angel and Xander asked in unison. It looked like speaking in unison freaked them out too.

"The guitar guy." Buffy offered. "He has a thing for Willow."

I felt myself blushing even as I turned to deny it. "You don't know that, Buffy." She just shrugged and dropped it but the gleam in her eyes was frightening.

Twenty minutes later, we were drinking our sodas and talking when a deep, neutral voice whispered in my ear. "Hey."

I jumped two feet in the air and spun to face the voice. "Jeez, Oz!" I complained, but already smiling. "You scared the crap out of me."

He smiled. "Sorry." he murmured. He shuffled his feet a little in an adorably embarassed way. "You, uh, wanna dance?" he asked.

I smiled and slid down from my stool. "Sure. I could wiggle a little."

**Angel's POV**

Willow peeled her sweater off and left it on her chair before she and her little friend snaked across the dance floor until they found a clear spot. The song wasn't any kind of hard-core rap grinding, but it was relatively fast paced and Willow stood in front of Oz as she danced. She swayed in front of him, her arms swaying in time with her body and her hips rolling with the beat.

The dance, while looking very trendy, seemed spiritual coming from Willow. Until, of course, she turned her back to the boy and he pulled her close. Still, there was no grinding of ass into erections, but what they _did_ do seemed worse. More sensual and intimate.

She pressed herself into him lightly and continued her swaying, her arms going up to lope around his neck. His rested on her waist and stroked the exposed flesh of her flat stomach where her tank top was riding up. She wasn't toned like Buffy. She was slender and soft-looking and I found that to be better.

_No, not better. She's pretty, I admit. But Buffy's beautiful, _I thought.

_And stupid, _Angelus chipped in.

_Shut up, _I growled.

Her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly parted. His were closed too, his head dipped down so his mouth was resting on her shoulder, planting little kisses over her neck.

"Holy Cow! Look at Willow!" Buffy exclaimed in a whisper. She'd been watching in awe the whole time but seemed to just now be able to grasp what her friend was doing.

"They're...they're..." Xander couldn't seem to speak. And the look of jealousy and complete shock on his face would have been hilarious if I hadn't felt vague copies of those feelings.

Buffy saw none of this. She was excited for Willow to have a guy. "Who knew Willow could dance like that?" Cordelia asked, sounding impressed and a little envious.

"I knew. But who knew she'd ever _do_ it?" Buffy asked. "Like...in public."

My eyes, just like Buffy's and Xander's and Cordelia's, stayed on the redhead and her short friend the whole time. The song dwindled down and Willow turned in his arms as a slow song started. Her arms were around his neck, his on her waist and they were barely moving at all on the dancefloor. She was staring him straight in the face, blushing of course, but she didn't look away.

He gave her a small smile and her face brightened with the huge grin that came on her face. I couldn't hear what he was murmuring to her and it was killing me. She slid a little closer to him then and her eyes fluttered closed before he even leaned in. He must of asked if he could kiss her.

I froze when his lips pressed to hers for a long minute. They didn't deepen the kiss or make out. They just kissed. She pressed her lips to his more firmly and he returned it. It was one of those desperate, yet chaste kisses, where they seemed to be drawing the souls out of each other using their mouths.

"OH MY GOD!" Buffy squealed, the pitch stinging my ear drums.

"Oh my God." Xander said dully.

"Go, Willow." Cordelia chirped. "Who knew? Willow Rosenburg with a band guy."

The slow song ended and Willow came back to the table as Oz went backstage. Her face got redder and redder the closer that she got, knowing we'd all seen what she'd done. She slid into the seat between Buffy and Xander. Everyone was quiet, waiting for her to speak. When she didn't, Buffy gaped at her.

"Willow!" she shrieked. I covered my ears again.

"What, Buffy?"

"Uh...'What, Buffy?' Hello! You just kissed Oz! That was your first kiss, right?" she asked. Willow blushed deeper and nodded. That was her _first_ kiss? Why did it look like she knew exactly what she was doing?

"With Oz." Xander said dully.

"No, my first ever." Willow corrected. "But yes, it was Oz."

"And then he just scurried off." Xander said snidely. Willow looked a little hurt.

"This next song...is for Willow." came a voice from the microphone. Willow gasped and glanced to the stage, where her little boytoy was smiling as he backed away from the microphone so the singer could take it. He stared straight at her as he started playing his song.

"OH MY GOD!" Buffy shrieked again, this time in unison with Cordelia. Okay, vampire here. Stop with the screaming. I can't take it. Willow's pale face flooded with color and the grin she wore threatened to rip her face in half.

"That is so freaking sweet." Cordelia cooed, looking to Willow with envious eyes. I, however, was listening to the song. And of course, it was a love song. Something about the 'perfect girl for me'. That was the chorus. I rolled my eyes but Willow seemed enraptured as Buffy and Cordelia spoke in rushed, hushed tones about how sweet it was and how he must really like her.

Willow started to bite on her bottom lip nervously as she watched and her eyes started to shine more than usual. She was about to cry. Oh God. I was glad that she wasn't squealing and all, but I didn't want to see her cry. Was this a chick thing? Like crying at weddings and stuff?

"Will?" Xander asked.

She glanced to him quickly and then right back to the stage. "Hmm?"

"You alright?"

"Fine." she murmured. Her breathing was quick and shallow. Was she going to have a panick attack? Oh dear Lord. "It's just...I've never had anyone really seem interested in me. And suddenly, Oz is..."

"Kissing you and dedicating you songs." Cordelia filled in. Willow smiled a little and nodded. "Well, you do like him back, right?"

"Yeah." Willow answered absentmindedly. She didn't seem too much into the conversation. As the song ended, she smiled up at Oz and then turned to us. "I mean...he's cute. And really really sweet. And he likes me alot. Or at least...it seems like he does. And he's in a band. And really sweet. Did I say that already?" She stopped babbling but there was more she wanted to say. It hung in the air thickly but she stopped talking after that. I don't know if the others realized it.

"He definitely likes you." Buffy told her.

"Even with your clothes like that." Cordelia added. Willow rolled her eyes and sighed. "Sorry, I keep forgetting. But seriously, Willow, you should let me take you shopping."


	4. Try to tear my way in

**Willow's POV**

After Bronzing a little more, we all left. Cordelia and Xander left in her car but Buffy and Angel decided to walk me home. As dead as it was earlier, it was no longer. Of course it couldn't be. It was like someone sent up a flare for them. Willow's in a good mood, evil vampires unite and destroy it!

A few blocks from my place, a pack of vamps caught up to us. I glanced to Buffy and whispered, "You think they'd see us, say 'Oh, the slayer _and _a master vamp...no way' and then leave. But no. They want to come after us." I was baffled. There were only six vamps. Were they seriously that cocky? Buffy could take three or four at a time by herself. Angel could too. And it wasn't like Angel could be their meal. Was Slayer blood so good that they would risk it...knowing that they would most likely die?

"Hey there." one said, looking to me. My brow furrowed. He sniffed the air. "Oh God. That's the stuff." My nose wrinkled in disgust. Was he sniffing us? And...was, was he enjoying it? "Come on, baby, don't be like that." he pouted.

"Quit with the witty banter." Buffy interjected. "You're no good." And then all the vamps swarmed us. Sure...Angel and Buffy could take these vamps easily. But in the few seconds it would take them to get to them all, I was wide open for attack. And the fact that they knew that, made their concentration worse. I knew I was hindering them.

He grabbed me. He, as in the one that seemed particularly drawn to me. Buffy and Angel were temporarily preoccupied. So just stall. That's all I needed to do. Sure, I was in an iron grip and my face was being forced to the side, but I continued to struggle. He was holding my arms so I kicked and squirmed and shook my head from side to side, trying to shuck his grip from my arms. He was getting irritated. I could feel it. But I kept at it.

And then finally, Buffy came to my rescue and the vamp was gone. I sank to the ground. "You alright, Wills?" Buffy asked. I sighed. "Wills? I didn't see him hurt you. Are you okay?"

"I'm sick and tired..." I stood, shaking from anger, "of being an easy target. Of being helpless as soon as my stake gets knocked away or one of them grabs me. It's freaking ridiculous."

"Well..."

"You think maybe Giles will reconsider training w-"

Buffy's hand went up to halt me. "Giles doesn't have time to train you. You know that. I'm the one that was Chosen. I have to do it. But maybe I could show you some moves?"

"When, Buffy?" My voice was harsher than I'd meant it to. I sighed. "Sorry. It's just...you have school and homework and patrols and you need some time to yourself. I don't know."

"You have all those things too, Will. And you could make time for it."

"I usually do my homework at school. Got a free class this year. I have alone time almost all the time when I'm not patrolling." I sighed again. Alone time wasn't so great after awhile.

"Maybe...I could?" Angel asked, half-reluctant and half-confused. Like he didn't realize why he was saying it. Buffy's brow shot up as she looked to her boyfriend.

A blush rose up my cheek. I knew he didn't want to. And I knew he'd feel bad to deny it now that he'd already said it. But I couldn't really refuse either because then he'd think _I _didn't want to. "It's alright, Angel. You don't have to. I could look us some basic techniques or something online, maybe. Or I -"

"I know." Angel said, ignoring my babbles. "I know I don't have to but I can teach you Willow. My apartment is spacious enough for us to do it at daytime."

"Really?"

"Sure." he replied. I shrugged. I wasn't going to _turn him down._


	5. Like some child possessed

**Angel's POV**

Willow was deposited at her house quickly and then Buffy came back to my apartment for a while before she would have to sneak in to her own house. We settled on the couch, her curling into my side a little uncomfortably. "Did you notice..." she started before trailing off.

"Did I notice what?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and looked up to me. "Vampires have been flocking to Willow more and more." she stated, looking contemplative.

"So?"

"They never used to notice her at all." she said. Her little pouty lip, which used to seem so cute, was sort of annoying.

"You're upset because other vampires want to eat her too?" I was confused, but my demon was practically doing the _told you so_ dance in my mind. For some reason, Angelus didn't like Buffy. Probably because she was on the good side. _She's a slayer,_ he said in disgust. _And a ditz._

She rolled her eyes. "No. I can share the limelight. But they seem to want her _more._"

"More than you..."

"Yeah." she said slowly.

My brow furrowed. "Okay." It was all I could say. She was jealous that Vampires were noticing her best friend! It was ridiculous.

"What...what does she smell like?" she asked hesitantly.

"Willow?" She nodded. "...Strawberries."

"No, I mean her blood. Like...her essence or whatever Vampires use to pick victims."

Oh. "Uh...Well, the wild strawberry thing is big. Also, she has a vague hint of rain. Just this sweet, misty smell. Her essence...is sweet. Innocent. Pure. Healthy... Young. Fragile. But with a deeper power." I told her truthfully.

"And what do I smell like?" she asked.

"You smell like Jasmine. Spicy. Rich. Pure. Healthy. Young. Strong. Powerful."

"What's the difference between strong and powerful?"

"You're physically strong. Your soul is powerful. Strong-willed."

"How is Willow powerful then?"

"I don't really know." I answered. "I mean she's strong-willed, but it's more than that."

"So, I'm not innocent?"

"You're pure. But Willow's different...she's shy and nervous. And ...fragile. You know, gentle. Thinks the best of people." Was that the word I was looking ... Tender?

"I'm not gentle?" she asked, her voice getting angry now.

"You're a slayer." I told her.

She wacked me in the chest. "I can be gentle."

"There's nothing wrong with being tough, Buffy." I told her.

"So, who smells better?" Her face was set. Daring me to tell her that Willow was better.

"There is no better with you and Willow. It's just different." I told her.

"Mmmmhmmm." Obviously not the answer she'd wanted.

"You're both clever and witty and brave and tough. She's got something else going on...I don't know, maybe from the spells she's done. Her magical ability. But you've got supernatural strength and speed and reflexes. She's easier pray than you are. They can sense it." Buffy's face got a little happier and I hoped it was enough. And it was true. Sure, Willow had great potential, but she was, as she'd said 'Easy Pickins' to other Vampires.

"What about the blood?" she asked.

"What about it?"

"Would you rather drink mine or hers?"

"Buffy, what are you talking about? I don't drink human blood."

"If you were a normal vampire. Who's would you choose if we were both knocked out?" Oh thanks, for reminding me I'm a freak amongst unholy, unnatural beings.

I sighed. "Slayer blood is supposed to be the best blood imaginable."I told her truthfully.

"So, me?"

I nodded. She smiled. "Happy now?" She nodded.

"So, do you like my jasmine scent?" she asked, curling back into my side.

"Yes." I said truthfully, wrapping my arm around her.


	6. The beast howls in my veins

**Willow's POV**

After school, I went straight to Angel's. I wanted to hurry this up. I wanted to learn to fight. I knew it would take time, but I was ready. He answered on the first knock and escorted me inside.

He'd moved his coffee table out of the way and now the livingroom was like one rather large empty space. "You ready?" he asked. I nodded and started to pull my shirt over my head. "What are you doing?" he snapped. I stopped in mid-motion.

My face burnt with a sudden blush. "I have my workout clothes on underneath..."

"Oh." His face went back to its normal un-readable expression. "Sorry."

I inwardly rolled my eyes and turned my back to take my shirt off. The tanktop underneath was practically a sports bra that came down to my waist. The shorts were spandex that went to my knees and fit to every curve of my body. So yeah, I was a little embarassed. But it was no worse than wearing shorty shorts and that was my only other option.

I turned to Angel as I started to scoop my hair into a ponytail. "I'm ready."

**Angel's POV**

She was a fast learner. Very fast. And it was oddly calm to watch her mimick my movements. When I could concentrate on the movements, that is. And then we got to the part where I would have to actually touch her. Sparring. And she was wearing the tightest clothes possible. Spandex.

Don't get me wrong...I'd seen some sexy getups in my time. And I'd seen Willow's body already but it was still shocking and distracting. That someone as sweet and meek and smart as Willow, who wore overalls and frumpy sweaters...had curves like that underneath.

I shook my head to clear it. Back to sparring. "I'm going to run at you. I'll hold back a little, but not too much. And I want you to try to find a way out of it. You have no stake. No holy water. What are you going to do?" And then I jumped.

She hadn't had a chance to prepare. And that was sort of the point. I knocked her to the ground, but made sure that she didn't hit her head. She grunted as we crashed down.

I grabbed her arms, pinning them down and put my face to her neck. Nothing happened. She was frozen under me, but her blood was pumping fast under her porcelain skin. I could hear it, smell it, and even see it where he pulse point was thrumming erratically. "You're dead." I told her. It came out more as a breath though and my mouth was dry. I got off of her quickly and helped her up. "Were you planning to submit to me to death?"

Her eyes narrowed. "It was just so sudden. I got scared."

"Willow, when a vamp comes at you, you're gonna be terrified. You have to do it anyway." I told her. And then I jumped her again. She hit the floor a little harder than I'd meant and her breath whooshed out of her body. I did the same thing as before, grabbing her arms and going for her throat. This time, she struggled. When she saw she wasn't getting anywhere, she headbutted me. I grunted and stood up, holding my nose and looked down at her.

She was holding her head.

"What is up with all the headbutting?"

"My arms weren't free." she complained.

"Well, what are you going to do when they recover and you're passed out on the ground?" I snapped.

I expected her to be hurt a little but her eyes narrowed again and she climbed to her feet and clocked me in the face. I stumbled a little in shock and she shook her hurt hand. Now she looked hurt. "That's what you get." I told her.

She glared. "Fine. Let's go."

So I jumped her again. As we fell back, she put her knees up to keep me from pinning her legs. We hit the ground and her breath left again. She started coughing but she still reacted. One leg went flat but the other stayed up, causing my lower body to hover a little. And then her right knee came up right into my groin.

I yelled out in pain and rolled off of her. She jumped up, kicked me in the ribs and ran to the other side of the room before I even got my breath back. "Better?" she asked me, her voice sarcastic.

I pushed onto my feet. "Well, actually...yeah." She walked back over and we kept practicing suprise attacks. From the side. The back. All angles. And after a few tries, she found a way to get out of every single one.

"I think that's enough for today." I finally said, glancing to the clock. It was a little past nine o'clock. She'd been there for five hours.

"Good." she sighed. "Because I feel like I'm about to break." She stretched slightly, rolling her neck to relieve some of the tension. I saw her wince and then roll her shoulders slowly. "Goddess, this hurts."

"Well...you're a little out of shape."

"Hey! I run everyday."

"When?" I asked with a rose brow.

"Gym."she admitted. "And patrol."

"You run when you have to. That's probably like five minutes in total every day."

"Shut up." she mumbled, looking down. I chuckled and her head snapped up. "Oh yeah, stupid vampire hearing." I chuckled again and she giggled for a minute. "So...when will you have time for me again?"

"I thought this was going to be a daily thing." I said, brows furrowed.

She gave a huge Willow grin. "Great!"

"You're not going to think so tomorrow. Trust me, the pain and soreness are going to get worse until your body adjusts." She sighed heavily.

"Well...I guess there is no getting around that." she said after a long minute. She started to pull her school clothes on over her workout clothes.

"Why do you have work-out clothes anyway?" I asked. "If you don't workout..."

"Yoga." she explained. "I dabble in it. Sort of goes hand-in-hand with meditation."

"Have you tried Tai-Chi?" I found myself asking. Her brows furrowed as if amused. "What?"

"I actually have tried it...but I feel stupid when I follow instructions from a tape so I stopped."

"Where'd you learn Yoga then?"

"My mother."

"Oh. Well_...I _could teach you Tai-Chi._" _I told her. Why was I volunteering for all of this suddenly?

"Well...if we're going to be training for five hours every day, I don't know if we'll have time." she said slowly. "I mean, I could stay for another hour. My parents would never know. But I usually patrol with Buffy." She blushed but never stopped talking. "Well, you know that because you usually do too. Patrol with Buffy, I mean. With Buffy and me. And Xander and Cordy. But maybe y-"

I chuckled, effectively cutting her off. She took a deep breath of air. "We can squeeze an hour of Tai-Chi into our training time. Sound okay?"

She nodded. "I should go home to shower." She turned to go. She stopped. "Well, actually, I'll just have to shower again after patrol because Vamp dust." She shook her head as if to clear it. "Anyway, I'll jus-"

"You want me to show you some Tai-Chi moves now? Until Buffy's ready?"

She turned back around. "Are you sure?"

I shrugged. "Nothing else to do."

She smiled that huge grin again and stripped back down to her workout attire. I turned away as she removed her outer clothes because even though she'd already wore the skin-tight garments in front of me, it seemed wierd to watch her undress. I pulled my shirt off and threw it to the side. She rolled her shoulders again and came to stand beside me.


	7. I held it in

**Buffy's POV**

It was time for patrol. Ten o'clock on the dot, I arrived at Willow's place since it was on my way to Angel's Mansion. I didn't have to even go up the walkway to know she wasn't there. All the lights were off, even the porch light.

I kept going. She could be with Xander or Cordy. Well, she could be with Xander. So, just me and Angel tonight then. Xander had already opted out of patrol for the night. And I didn't feel one bit guilty that I was happy about Will and Xan not coming.

I got to the apartment after a few minutes. Angel never locked the doors at night and he usually sensed me before I even got inside, so I opened the door, fully expecting him to sweep me into his arms as soon as I stepped in. It didn't happen.

I moved inside, shutting the door softly behind me. There was soft music playing and I immediately found myself getting nervous. My eyes narrowed of their own accord and I moved farther into the room.

And there they were. Right around the corner of the entryway. Angel and _Willow. _I never thought I'd be jealous of Willow in my life, but I found that at that moment, I was. They were standing side by side as Willow copied Angel's fluid, graceful movements with her own choppy movements. I wanted to snort. How could she be so awkward about everything?

Angel glanced to me as if he'd known I was there the whole time and then went back to his movements. They finished up the dance or whatever they were doing and Willow sighed. "That's..." He watched her intently, a brow rose. "Way better than yoga. It's not just stretching, it's like dancing in a way."

He smiled. "So you like it?"

"Yeah. I feel...I don't know how to explain it..."

She bit her lip nervously as if trying to find the right word. "Relieved?" she asked, at the same time that he asked,"Relieved?" in a knowing way. Like he knew because it was how he felt too. I didn't like that. She giggled. I _hated _that.

"Exactly."

"Good then. Tai-Chi it is. No more stupid Yoga or meditation." he joked.

She frowned, which made me smile. "Hey...they're not stupid. Yoga just isn't as fun. But it's still useful. For flexibility. And meditation is about your inner self. Inner peace. I love it. Plus..." She leaned in as if about to tell a secret. I narrowed my eyes. "I float." she said cheerfully.

"Float?" he asked.

"Yeah." I interrupted, trying not to sound jealous or bitter. "Levitates, flies, hovers. She does it when meditating. Her witch stuff."

Angel didn't respond to my tone, just nodded appreciatively to Willow. "That's cool. I wanna see it sometime." She nodded and I felt myself getting even madder.

I mean, I walk into my boyfriend's place and my best friend is there wearing these skin-tight clothes that are practically underwear. He's not wearing a shirt and they're doing Tai-Chi. My usually reserved-around-everyone-but-me boyfriend is talking to her like they're good pals. I don't like any part of it at all. "So...why exactly are you here Willow?"

She looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Training, Buffy, remember?"

"Then what were you just doing? That was training?" Because I could teach her way better than that. Tai-Chi wasn't the best way to fight.

"No. He was just showing me some Tai-Chi after our lesson."she responded happily.

Her truthfullness put me more at ease. So they'd just been training and then he showed her some of his Tai-Chi crap. "Well...I thought you were coming over here right after school. I went by your place."

"I did come over after school." she said, looking confused.

"So, how long have you been here?" I snapped out. She looked a little hurt but recovered quickly.

"Since like four something."

My temper sky-rocketed. "You've been here for six hours." I scoffed.

"Well, yeah...I mean, today was all about defense. Just enough to get away from a vampire. It wasn't much so we wanted to finish it all today. And then we cooled down with Tai-Chi. And then you came in."

She'd been hanging out with my boyfriend for six hours. Alone. In his house. Alone. Okay...calm down, Buffy. This is Willow. Mousey, computer hacking, naive Willow. She'd never be able to take Angel from me. And she wouldn't do that anyway. She's too sweet to do something like that...if she even had a chance. Which she doesn't.

I was just being stupid. I was definitely NOT jealous of Willow. They were training. Come on...it's WILLOW. I took one last deep breath and nodded. I felt better. It was Willow, afterall.

"It's cool Wills. Let's go patrolling." I said quickly. Her relieved smile calmed me even more and she hurriedly slipped on her dorky school clothes before following Angel and I outside.


	8. The fabric of your flesh

**Willow's POV**

I'd been training with Angel for three weeks. My body was pretty well adjusted and I only got the little aches from our sparring. We'd just finished our one hour cool-down Tai-Chi, which we'd started doing after every session. I even showed him a little meditating, which he seemed to find peaceful.

We were about to rap up soon anyway and get to meditating. I finally dropped my hands to the side, finished with Tai Chi when suddenly, I was on the ground and training kicked in. Even as we fell, I used my momentum to keep us rolling, simultaneously using both of my hands to wrestle one of his down to be trapped between our bodies when I stopped to be straddling over him. With my hands free again, I used them to hold his free arm up. One hand cradled his elbow and the other was wrapped around his middle finger and bending it back. He hissed in pain.

"What the hell, Angel!" I hissed. "You said we were done. Like an hour ago."

"Demons lie." he ground out. "You always have to be ready." He glanced to his hand meaningfully but I just pulled it back harder.

"I shouldn't have to be ready in my friend's house." I challenged.

"When your friend is a demon..." he hedged.

I dropped his hand suddenly and put on my best pout but careful not to overdo it. "But you'd never hurt me." I bashed my lashes innocently, trying hard not to laugh, "Would you?"

Angel's eyes flickered amber and I barely had time to widen my eyes in surprise before I was on my back, two hands holding mine above my head and then his lips were on mine. The kiss was desperate, but gentle and intense. I was surprised, shocked really, but it kind of spurred me into tentatively returning the kiss when the shock passed. Until I felt the tingles in my tummy and realized what the hell I was doing.

His hands went lax on mine and I pulled my arms away, using all of my stength to shove and rock at the same time until he was on his back. It was meant to get him away from me but his hands clutched my hips and pulled me back on top.

I'm not sure if he did it purposely or on reflex when the sensation of falling tells you to grab on, but the next thing I knew, I was all too aware of his own desire and we were kissing again. This time, I was participating a lot more.

It escalated quickly, snowballing out of control before I could even get my bearings. Obviously the demon comes out more when Angel's turned on because the next thing I knew, I was on my back again, feeling completely dominated by the brutal kiss he was pushing on me.

Not that I wasn't completely into it, but he was definitely letting me know who was in control. Angel rolled his hips into mine as his hands found the small of my back and gripped my shirt to pull me closer.

And that's when the CD we used for Tai Chi, the soft calming one, ended and the stereo shuffled to the next one, a rock and roll CD I'd brought for fighting lessons. Nobody was there to turn the CD off for silent meditating and suddenly Metallica was blaring at us, shocking us out of our kiss.

I just realized how wierd it was the be kissing all hot and heavy to wind chimes and soft guitar ballads when Loverman would have been way better.

I swallowed hard, averting my probably beet-red face as Angel climbed off of me. He offered a hand, which I accepted, and then looked around as if to find something to say or do to break this awkward moment. He had no idea how relieved I was that he didn't try a 'that was a mistake' speech.

"It's still only nine forty-five. Another fifteen before Buffy even starts to come over." I stated as I walked over to my school clothes. It was suddenly very tense in this room, electrically charged, but not in the sex way it had just been.

"How bout you show me that floaty thing." he suggested after too long of silence.

I smiled to the best of my ability and attempted to joke. "Okay. But warning: it's gonna make you jealous."

A small smile formed on his face. "I'll manage." he grumbled.

I shrugged as if to say _you asked for it_ and walked to the center of the room. I gently sat down, sitting Indian style and put my hands on my knee. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and began to center myself.


	9. The ropes have been unbound

**Angel's POV**

Even now, after I had satisfying sex with Buffy, I'm thinking of _her. _I realize that it's gone beyond appreciating Willow's beauty. I'd always respected her on some level, but kept away from her alluring innocence and her equally alluring curves. Because she was so innocent. My demon wanted her. Angelus wanted her. And that kept me from going after her. I shouldn't be with someone Angelus wants, because that is just a clear sign that it's wrong.

But it didn't keep me from fantasizing about her. All the time. From late at night til the afternoon when I slept. During the evening while we trained. Every night when I went patrolling with the Scoobies.

In my dreams, we would be training and I'd pin her to the ground or the wall and we'd start kissing. That dream actually came true and replaying the act was better than the dreams had been. I always embellished, of course, but still. Or sometimes, we'd be on patrol, just us, and she'd get hurt...just a scratch or something, and she'd let me lick the blood away and we'd have sex right there on the ground. No...not sex. We'd fuck each other senseless on the grass or in a crypt or on a grave. I didn't care where, really.

I was a horrible person for wishing she'd get hurt. Even if it was just a little scratch. And I knew that. But it didn't stop me from wishing it.

So I lay beside Buffy's naked sleeping form, listening to her deep breathing and her heartbeat, holding her close. I didn't breath because her scent would spoil the illusion I had in my mind. The illusion of a soft, very dainty body against mine with red hair tickling my nose.

If I could just convince myself it was really Willow with me...maybe I could be happy. Milk this for all it's worth.

Yeah. Strawberries, I think of the scent so hard that I'm sure I can smell them. Strawberries and innocence and Willow. She's not toned and hard, but soft and fragile so I loosen my grip as not to hurt her.

Her hair is tickling my nose but I just nuzzle in closer, skimming my hand down her sides. My imagination lets me believe the skin I'm feeling is softer than in reality. Because Willow's skin is softer than Buffy's. It's almost like velvet and silk, soft like her hair and luxurious.

Yeah. This is Willow in my arms. Willow Rosenberg. The most beautiful person I've ever met...inside and out. And that's when the pain rips through me.

**Angelus' POV**

I know how I got here. I know Soul boy was so scared of his growing feelings for My Witch that he pushed himself into things with His Slayer. She offered herself to him and he jumped at the chance, pictures of my redheaded beauty in our mind almost the entire time. They wouldn't seem to stay away long, even when he pushed them back or forced himself to look at the blonde.

He felt me coming and ran outside, to get away from the Slayer. He doesn't want to hurt her. He doesn't want to hurt anyone.

But I have no intention of keeping up his stupid charade. None at all.

I want my family back. I want my witch. And unlike Angel, I go after...and _get_ what I want. I don't care who I hurt to get it. The Slayer would be a bonus.

So I run down the streets of Sunnydale, toward my Witch's house. The dark house we drop her off at everynight. I run up the car-less driveway and around the back to Willow's frenchdoors. She's inside, peacefully sleeping on her bed. She's not on her back, snoring softly like the the Slayer does. She's curled on her side like she's waiting for me to curl in behind her. Hair is fanned out behind her and her hands are under her face, palms together as if praying.

She looks so beautiful and innocent and trusting that I want to wake her up and fuck her, claim her, right then. But I don't. I can't. I have to woo her if I ever hope for her to stay. For her not to run.

I let myself in, having been invited when I was Soul Boy and I sit in the computer chair by her desk, across from the foot of her bed. She really does look beautiful as she sleeps. Her breaths are deep and even, her mouth slightly parted. I love her. She's mine.


	10. but now it seems you set it running free

**Willow's POV**

I had the dream everynight. No. I had the _nightmare _every night. The same memory. I was terrified. Angel's grip on me was tight and I couldn't breathe very well. Worse than that though, was his erection poking into my back, so hard that I was trying to move away from it in discomfort more than I was thinking about the tight fist around my throat, pinching my skin.

"Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends." Angel told Buffy. No...not Angel anymore. It was Angelus. And his voice was hard and cold.

I felt my lip trembling but I didn't want to cry. His grip tightened on my neck more and I yelped in pain. I wasn't paying much attention to them for a few moments. The terror ripping through my body had me shaking uncontrollably and I couldn't pay attention.

Remember your training! I was telling myself. I was frustrated. Angel had driven that into me. You have to act. You can't just freeze up. But this was different. This man...this demon...he was Angel. Or he was a part of Angel. The animalistic, hateful, and cruel part. But a part nonetheless.

I just couldn't. I couldn't hurt him. I mean, I _could_ probably, if I tried. But I felt like I couldn't move, and even if I could, I don't think I'd have the heart to do any permanent damage.

"Leave Willow alone, and deal with me." Buffy demanded.

Angel's hips bucked slightly and his erection pressed tighter against the small of my back. "But she's so cute." He pinched my cheek and I tried to turn away. "And helpless. Really a turn on." He wrapped his second arm around my waist and pulled me back harder against him for emphasis. I gulped. "And those strawberries." he groaned, rubbing his nose against my neck. His tongue darted out to touch my skin and I yelped in surprise and fear.

And then I was falling, landing on Xander and Angel...uh, Angelus, was backing away. He whispered a threat to Buffy and then left the school. And me, Xander, Buffy, and Mrs. Calendar were left in the hall. All of us terrified and all of us staring at the door he'd just used to waltz away.

I usually wake up from it in a cold sweat, but this time, I'm not sleeping. I'm standing in the mall, where Buffy just shot the Judge with a freaking rocket launcher thing and he completely exploded. Dru and Angelus took off and Buffy went in pursuit. And then I look over, and there he is. Staring at me with this intense, hungry gaze.

The sprinklers start up and I look down at the overly-ruffly white blouse I'm wearing that just went from being ridiculously cute and childish to wet-tee-shirt contest. Angelus smirks and all those images run through my head. The man terrifies me more than anything we've ever faced. And I guess it's because he knows me personally.

I mean, not too personally. But he'd been in my home. He dated my best friend. He knew my name and habits, even if we didn't talk much before, it was too much. Even him knowing the combat skills I know and how to avoid them. What I look like in workout clothes and the fact that I love to meditate. I don't want him knowing those personal things about me.

He slips into game face right there and I cringe back, covering my breasts by crossing my arms over my chest. And then he's running again, because Buffy obviously caught up with him.


	11. To find you,tear out all your tenderness

**Angelus' POV**

Jenny Calendar. Sure, that's her real name. Soulboy always had his suspicions about her, mostly because she was definitely a descendent of the Romany clan. He could smell it from her blood.

It could've been a coincidence I suppose, but I tried to tell him it wasn't. That she was up to something. And I was right. Dru told me so.

It's what brought me to the pathetic excuse of a High School at eleven at night. She was there. Working hard on something...hmmm, what could that possibly be? A curse?

The clicking of the computer keyboard could be heard from clear down the hall, and then I noticed a second heartbeat in the room. Willow's scent hit me just as I neared the door and I growled deep in my throat. She was helping with this?

That could not go unpunished.

I stopped and leaned against the wall to eavesdrop for a moment. "I don't know what you're talking about, Willow." the teacher was saying, her best 'I'm-innocent' voice out.

"Yes. You do." Willow insisted. "This computer thing you're doing...it has something to do with Angel. And Angelus."

There was a short thumping sound, like Jenny was putting her elbows on the desk or sitting on it. "Why are you so concerned about this? Shouldn't Buffy be the one-"

"Angel was my friend!" Willow cried indignantly. "For over a month, he's been teaching me to fight. I mean...he might not think of me as a friend, but I _do_ think of him that way." And much more soon, if I have any say in the matter. "And I want to know what you're doing!"

"You're scared." Jenny surmised.

Willow scoffed and I smiled, waiting for her denial. But it didn't come. "Of course I'm scared! The guy strung my fish up like Christmas lights. He went through that much trouble just to scare me. To hurt me emotionally. And here you are, putting your life in danger for something you haven't clued any of us in on...in a public building at night! Are you stupid? Jenny, you're being reckless." By the end of that little rant, Willow sounded breathless and close to whimpering. She was making herself more scared just talking about it.

"Willow, I _have_ been working on this at home. But-"

"ONLY there." Willow demanded. "And you need to go straight home after school unless you're accompanied by several people and armed. We're being hunted right now, Jenny. You're friendship with Giles and your involvement in the Clan is enough to send Angelus afte-"

"How did you know I was in the Clan?" Jenny demanded suddenly. Looks like Soulboy and I weren't the only ones with brains around here. It made me swell up with a mixture of pride and joy that my chosen was so intelligent.

"How did I know?" Willow mocked. "Because I'm smarter than average and not too busy fawning over you like Giles. I'd bet anything Angel..uh, Angelus knows too. You're not safe here Jenny."

"Really, Willow," Jenny's voice was soft now, "It's very sweet that you're concerned but I think I'll be fine."

"You shouldn't be so sure." I deadpanned, pulling the cracked door fully open and waltzing into the room. Willow was embraced in a hug by Jenny, who'd left her desk sometime during the conversation and was trying to calm My Witch.

Willow whimpered, burying her face into Jenny's neck and Jenny looked terrified. I took a deep breath, loving the overwhelming terror in the room.

"Hello, Little One. Jenny." I greeted.

"Angelus." Jenny ground out. I had to give her points for being brave, although it was pointless and a little pathetic.

Willow broke away from Jenny and backed away, toward the windows. Her fear seemed to grow, instead of diminishing the farther away she got and it intrigued me. Jenny backed away toward the right, around her desk and hitting the blackboard.

"Aw, come on Baby..." I crooned to Willow. "What's wrong?"

Her lip trembled a little but she put on her 'Resolve Face' and spit out, "Don't call me that!"

I flinched back, a hand to my heart in mock hurt, although I really did feel a twinge. And that just pissed me off more. If she'd been devoted to me, loyal to me, and completely consumed by me, _then_ I could have feelings for her. Show her affection. But she was spurning me, scared of me, and I wasn't supposed let her have the upper hand here.

"Willow..." I said sadly, "Didn't you enjoy the kiss too?"

Willow paled a little. "I...I.."

"You?" I implored.

"The kiss was a mistake. A mistake that Angel and I made...you weren't involved."

And didn't that one sentence just get right down to the heart of my rage. "When Soulboy is involved, so am I." I told her confidently. "Sure he's not here with me, but I'm always there with him."

She nodded. "I know."

"So, I was involved." I reiterated.

"Angel was in control." she said quietly. "You were just watching from the sidelines."

In the next instant, I was on her. The anger and fury had shot straight through me, bringing my demon face to the fore. But I wasn't one to let anger control me. I stopped myself from ripping her throat out, pinning her down to the ground instead. "This feels like deja vu." I mocked.

Willow's legs were spread on either side of me and I was rested between them, my erection pressed toward the core of her heat and my hands holding hers down. I was breathing heavily, although it wasn't needed, in my rage and she had a stricken look on her face. "JENNY! RUN!" she screamed right before my lips smashed into hers.

The kiss was better than with Angel. I was sure of it. That might have to be because with me in control, it was as if I could feel it more, but I liked to think it was because Soulboy was too soft. Willow was kissing me back and rolling her hips against mine. She was aroused and I could feel her nipples poking my chest through our clothing. It all actually shocked me until I opened my eyes and pulled back to see her watching the door as if guarding it with her eyes. I glanced up and swore.

Hopping to my feet, I ran out of the room to find the computer teacher. I got it now. Willow backing up, all the way across the room, her fear had climbed as she'd been thinking of a plan. I should be angered at my own stupidity and underestimation, but I was too proud. My Witch was crafty.

Not three minutes later, I had the gypsy locked in my arms, hands on either side of her head and ready for a quick break of the neck, when Willow came to the edge of the steps above us, looking down at me. "NO!" she screamed, hurrying down. "Please. Don't. Don't hurt her. She's...she's..."

"A Romany." I supplied with distaste.

"She had no choice in that." Willow rebutted.

"I know her plans, Little One." I told her. "And I don't plan on going back into my cage."

I lifted my elbows for the snap and Willow grabbed one. "She'll stop. Just...don't kill her. Please."

I lifted a brow, staring straight into Willow's eyes with a look that said 'Are you serious?' but there was the answer. She was serious, and something told me that if I killed the whimpering woman in my arms, especially if I did it in front of my Beloved, she'd never be mine. Unless I turned her after, but I didn't want another loon. Perhaps we could kill them together, after her turn?

A smirk tugged on my lips. "And what are you going to do for me Little One?"

I heard her heart, the one that had been beating fast and erratically since I first showed my face in the classroom, beating even faster. She swallowed a few times, remaining eye contact with me the whole time. "If you promise to not kill her...whatever you want." she whispered.

"Will-ow!" Jenny choked out.

I took a deep breath, enjoying the aroma. "Terror and resignation...two scents I love when they're mingled." I dropped the bitch I was holding and her knees gave out, letting her crumble to the ground.

Willow removed her hand from my arm, but didn't back away until I started to stalk closer. She hit the stairwell wall and I pressed into her, nuzzling her neck. The pale glowing skin was almost translucent, showing the faintest hint of veins. I kissed the pulse point softly, relishing the quick thrumming under my lips.

And then I felt a sharp pain in my head and I was on the ground on my ass. I looked to my Witch first, half to make sure she wasn't the attacker, and half to make sure she wasn't now being attacked. She was frozen to the wall, pressed so tightly that she almost melded with it. Her eyes were scrunched shut and her fear and slight arousal seemed to fog the entire platform.

And...yep! There's Buffy, turned to watch me even as she's trying to check over Willow. My Witch's eyes open slowly, only now realizing she's not being pressed into the wall anymore. Her eyes find mine for an instant before snapping to Buffy. "I...I'm okay Buff." The gypsy joins them, grabbing Willow's arm and hurrying her away and the Slayer approaches me. I get to my feet lazily, my ego in tact, she _did_ sneak attack me after all. But I'm slightly disturbed that I was so engrossed in My Witch that she _could._

No matter. Here goes another round with the fight-to-the-death battles that never end in death because she can't make herself kill me.


	12. My blood is singing like your voice

**Willow's POV**

I was terrified. I mean, I don't think I'd ever been more terrified by a single vamp besides Angelus himself. No, this one scared me more. Sure, Spike was scary too, but Drusilla could get in my head. My sanctuary was my mind, my thoughts, my brain.

And she obviously had the power to blow right over my inner strength. It was obvious not because she'd done it yet, but because she'd killed Kendra so easily and she was a slayer for Pete's sake!

I was trembling, trapped under a freaking bookcase and feeling like I would pass out at any second. I could see Kendra's body only feet ahead and Giles...well, Giles was gone. Taken.

Tears welled in my eyes as she approached me, a pathetic whimper making its way out of my throat. Why couldn't she just forget about me? Seriously, for this one time in my life, all I wanted was to go completely and utterly unnoticed.

"All dressed for the party and no tea's been brewed." Drusilla sing-songed, dropping to kneel by my head. I didn't look at her. As morbid as it was, I couldn't look away from Kendra. That strong, beautiful, smart, tenacious girl that had crumbled almost laughably easily for a slayer.

She had been dedicated. Much more than Buffy. She took this seriously and she had been mowed down with a little eye contact.

The numbness in my legs was starting to creep up my bones, to encompass all of me. My terror was leaving me stock-still and my eyes were trying to shut even as I fought with everything I had to keep them open. I needed to blink, clear away the black spots in my vision, but I knew if I did that my eyes probably wouldn't open again.

Was this death? Was I actually dying by bookcase right now?

God, that would be the most ironic thing ever for a bookworm like me to be killed from. Especially since I fight monsters on a regular basis. At least it wasn't some tragic accident though. I'd had it shoved on top of me.

That made it more heroic, right?

Who am I kidding? It's still ridiculous. And so so ironic. The only thing that would be more ironic is if I was beaten to death with my laptop.

"Come on, little tree." Drusilla crooed. "Don't fall asleep yet, Miss Edith wanted me to tell you something."

My eyes are sagging even as I force myself to look at her. She might as well use her mind control. I'm dying anyway. Maybe she could take the pain away...make me die in happy memories.

I look down suddenly as I realize...no. She wouldn't. She'd try to hurt me more if anything. I don't even want to know what a demon with manipulative mind powers can come up with. My parents mocking me before and as I die. Buffy calling me a monster. Xander telling me I was nothing. Them...any or all of them...leaving me. It was my worst fear.

And someone like Drusilla was probably ecstatic to make it come true.

"Let's go, Pet." Spike called from the doorway. "Watcher's waiting for us and so will Angelus."

Drusilla ignored him, staring intently into my eyes. The eyes I'd immediately brought back up when someone was speaking. Curse my stupid freaking manners at a time like this. No. Fucking. I'm fucking stupid for thinking of being polite, subconsciously or not, when I'm being trapped by two demons and a bookcase, waiting for death.

I can curse all I want. In my mind or out loud. I'm about to die, afterall. "Fuck." The word is spit out of my mouth like it disgusts me, but really I disgust myself.

Drusilla giggles. "Mummy really shouldn't say such naughty words in front of her little girl. Tisn't proper, now is it?" she asks. "Daddy would say you were being crude. Don't curse at Princess."

God, I wish I could strangle her right now. "Can I die in peace?" I asked her, startled by my own weak and thin voice as much as at the words I spoke.

"You're not dying, Red." Spike sounds annoyed. "Got a bump or two. Maybe something wrong with your noggin, but you ain't dying."

"Don't try to hide, mummy." Drusilla's adds out of nowhere. My eyes close, but she keeps talking. "Miss Edith says that daddy _will_ have you. The stars have decided but they don't know how. Daddy's fair lady and Princess' mummy or the nasty Soul's goddess?"

I'm barely hearing her but my head nods weakly, sending a wave of dizziness through me to which I groan. Spike chuckles and I feel Drusilla's tiny hands stroking my hair.

"Let's go, pet. I think she gets it."

"Will you be okay, mummy?"

God, I hope so. "Fine." I murmur before I'm unable to speak anymore.


	13. I want to pour it out

**Willow's POV**

Xander says that Angel is back. He's angry because Buffy kept it a secret and I can't blame him. Yes, he was her boyfriend, but he had something to do with us all. He endangered us all before.

Not that I'd want to throw him out of town or anything like Xander's suggesting but I would have liked to be warned. Kept in the loop, you know. Buffy doesn't know when his soul could leave again and I don't want to continue being fucking stalked and 'romanced' by him. Especially if I wasn't ready for another of our 'dates'.

Buffy knew. That Angelus had a thing for me. Okay, he had one for her too, obviously. She chose to believe that was his soul still trying to get control.

But I knew. Angelus hated her for the same reasons that Angel loved her. Maybe he hated her _because_ Angel loved her. But whatever the point, sure there was chemistry there. Passion. But not in any kind of lovey dovey way. I would bet a million bucks that Angelus would have raped, tortured, and then drained Buffy in an instant if he'd gotten the chance.

Not to say I'd fair any better. Who knows what he'd have done with me. But the point is, he didn't get the chance last time. But this time...Buffy should have told us!

Now everything makes since. The vivid, terrifying nightmares of being abused in hell that had started when Angel left and seemed to vary in intensity with no pattern, had stopped suddenly. I figured that whatever bond my soul had with his had been severed. He'd either perished...but can you die in hell? Or he'd lost his soul, probably by some demon deal.

I'd only discovered recently that he'd had the soul when Buffy stuck him. I'd thought it was just my own guilt and subconscious turning against me. The dreams made since after I found out. And now I understood why they stopped, and suddenly I was angrier than before. Because it was December and they'd stopped in September. Buffy had been hiding this for months.

And how long would she have continued if Xander hadn't caught on?

**Angel's POV**

I'm recovering. Able to speak sentences and not cower at every loud noise. God, I was pathetic. But I'm getting better.

Buffy comes by everyday since she found me.

I still love her. Maybe it isn't as passionate as before. I don't feel the bittersweet pang whenever we're together. The one that reminds me that no matter what we'll never last forever. Now, it's mellowed.

Sure. I still find her attractive. Who wouldn't? And I still lust after her when I get a peek of her body as we train together. But then I'll get flashes of the same thing, in my old apartment, with the redhead.

Willow. Her name is Willow. Don't think of her...

Sometimes I still call Buffy 'the blonde fighter' in my head. I'm just getting used to names again, finally remembering them and other words.

Pain. Scared. Alone. Those were the words I thought of mostly during my time in hell. _I'm so lonely. Don't be scared, it'll be okay. Oh, it hurts. It hurts. _Those were the extent to my thought processes back then.

Now I'm back. I'm not sure why or how, but I'm back. And I'm more grateful than I could ever imagine. Buffy must have done this. Somehow. It can't be a coincidence that I'd found her ring as soon as I'd awoken here. It had to have been here. And that made me feel slightly guilty, because while I was grateful and I loved her, that knowledge didn't seem to bring our passion back.


	14. The Saints can't help me now

**Willow's POV**

I knew this time would come. Angel has slowly started to help us again. Even Xander seems to finally be getting over the terror we went through went he was in his demon form.

The worst was Giles, actually. After the torture session he was holding a grudge but finally, he had to admit Angel was needed and if Angel and Angelus were really the same, we'd still be running and hiding from him.

And in a way, a completely selfish way, I was a little dismayed that Angel was back. I mean, sure, I was glad he wasn't in Hell and that he had his soul again, but being around him was wierd.

He'd kissed me, in front of Buffy. Talked to me like we had intimate knowlegdge of each other in front of Jenny. And I had caught both women staring at me. Jenny with this dissappointed and slightly angry look and Buffy's one full of jealousy.

Giles and Xander were clueless and I was glad. Oz and I were dating but it just wasn't the same. I didn't feel safe on the Hellmouth anymore. Not when I couldn't tell my friends what exactly had been going on. Not when Buffy and Jenny were distant and Xander and Cordelia were sucking face constantly. Not when Giles was wrapped up in his newfound love and Angel would give me these long looks. Sometimes I'm sure I saw confusion in his eyes, probably wondering why the hell his demon had been jonesing for me, and then sometimes he looked angry.

Was it because I had kissed Angelus back? Did he think less of me because I hadn't been physically ill by the thought of his demon?

Whatever the reason, the point remained. I knew this time would come. And I've been completely dreading it. Because for the first time since our last training session... before the five months of Angelus running loose, three months in hell, three in hiding, and then two more as a recluse that Buffy was slowly coaxing back out...Angel and I were completely alone.

Xander was on a date with Cordy, Buffy was on patrol, Giles and Jenny had went out for coffee, and I was meant to be just running through the morgue files one last time before heading home.

Angel had came in, unnoticed by me until he'd touched my shoulder. After sitting in almost complete silence for the last twenty minutes, I think I had the right to completely freak out.

A startled shriek left my mouth at the same time I jumped and spun around, a fist coming out on it's own. "Hey!" Angel took the first punch to the jaw and then caught the second only inches from his face. "It's me." Leveling me with an incredulous look, he dropped my hand and backed away.

I was just too relieved that I wasn't dead so I didn't even think of what I normally would have. Profusely apologizing for my overreaction.

I dropped my hands to my side, staring at him in slight irritation as I willed my heart to it's normal place. "Xander was right about those bells." I grumbled, taking my seat at the computer again.

He snorted a little, pulling up a chair from the table behind him and sitting a few feet from me. I glanced up at his solemn face and narrowed my eyes. What now?

"Willow-"

I put a hand up to cut him off. "Just by the tone of your voice, I can tell I'm not going to like what you have to say."

He looked confused and a little hurt. "I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry for what I did. To you. And your fish and-"

"You didn't do those things." I answered automatically, back to my typing. It may have seemed like an insult but I was trying to show him that I wasn't bothered by what he'd done. There was no need for him to apologize.

"You don't understand." he said, his voice suddenly aggravated and gruff even though he was still speaking low. "Angelus and I aren't different people, we-"

"I do understand Angel. And I think I might understand better than you."

"Excuse me?" I didn't respond. Didn't bother repeating myself because we both knew he'd heard me. "You think because he kissed you that you're an expert now?"

I grinned a little, despite the hurt. "You just said it. _He _kissed me. Not I."

"I'm not there when he is, but-"

"He's there when you are." I finished. "Yeah, I know. He gave me this speech."

Angel was becoming more and more disgruntled. "Yeah, I remember."

I shrugged. "The way I see it...there is Angelus. A bastard demon in your body that has a sadistic, twisted mind."

He looked pained, but nodded.

"And the soul." I continued.

"The soul isn't all of me."

"Can I finish talking?" I snapped. He didn't respond. "The soul is Liam. The selfish, womanizing slacker."

Now he looked surprised, before it faded into a mask of indifference. I could tell that he was steeling himself for beratement. "Okay." was all he said.

"And then Liam was brought back, into the mind of a twisted demon and despite his days as a drunk loser, he was still human. Still good. And he was appalled by Angelus."

Angel nodded hesitantly.

"You're not Angelus and you're not Liam. Angel is like a mergence of them." I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. "Whether or not you realize, Angelus' actions spurred Liam into being a better person. To becoming Angel." I swiveled my chair away from the computer to like at him better, face to face. "It's all there...in anyone who knows you, the first thing they say 'oh, he's that vampire with a soul' and that's what you have to understand. What you need to accept. That's exactly what you are. You are still a vampire. Having a soul can't change it. But that soul is what keeps you from being Angelus and that demon is what turned you from Liam to Angel. The kind of guy that respects women and trys for love instead of alleyway sex. I actually think that Angel is better than them both."

"How did you know that stuff?" he asked suddenly. "About Liam?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He rose a brow. "Just think about what I said. Angelus is his own entity. And he may be part of you, Angel, but you are not part of him."

I think he would have said something, but he stood suddenly and looked toward the library doors. Giles and Jenny came in, laughing, and then quieted when they saw Angel standing tensely by Willow. What was his problem anyhow? It wasn't like they had forbid him from coming here. He was here alot actually.

Jenny met my eyes, hers holding a hint of disgust, and the reality of it crashed down. He didn't want them to know we had been alone together.

I looked away from Jenny, already gathering my things as I glanced to the vampire. Oh Great, and his tense stance was just screaming 'Innocence'.

That was sarcasm.

I zipped my backpack and headed toward the door. "Everything was clear on the morgue front, Giles. See ya."

"Oh, yes. Good night, Willow."

"I'll walk you." Angel said from beside me. When did he follow me to the door?

I startled a little, glancing back to my teacher and librarian, and withering a little under Jenny's accusing glare. Still, I wasn't risking death or losing a friend over someone's misconcieved thoughts. I nodded to the vampire and we left.

I figured he'd ask me tons of questions as soon as we left the building, but the walk was silent, and I was glad to see he seemed to be thinking pretty hard about something.


	15. You are the moon that breaks the night

**Angel's POV**

Not long after the apology, Willow and I resumed our old training. Nowadays, Buffy usually joined us when she didn't have to train with Giles. I was happy about that since being alone with Willow didn't seem like such a good idea.

I felt something for her.

Something that should be wrong, but felt so right. Something intense and scary. Something I shoved down and never expressed. Never _would _express.

I loved Buffy. I did. She had this aura of carefree, naive, carelessness. And she was beautiful, with her soft blue eyes and shiny golden-blonde hair that made me wish to see it in the sun. Her body was firm and tight with tanned skin and a dazzling smile. She represented what I wanted. What I could never have completely.

And then there was Willow. Her complete opposite. Willow had this feeling of warmth even with the sadness that seemed to follow her. And despite that, she was one of the easiest to please people I'd ever met. And always cheery to others. It was really her disposition, but I was beginning to think that she used it as a mask. Mask the pain, mask the hurt, you're happy. Everyone's just so damn happy!

And unlike Buffy's 'California Girl' look, Willow was like night. No. She was both. She was night and day. Contradictive and infuriating and intoxicating. She wasn't exactly gorgeous, but she had a shy beauty if you looked close enough. Her emerald green eyes twinkled with emotion that she always wanted to hide and her blood red hair appealed to Angelus (for the irony in the color)and Angel both, making the souled vampire feel warm just looking at it. Her body was as small as Buffy's, but seemed more dainty. She was soft and pliant where Buffy was hard and firm. Her skin almost glowed, creamy flesh with an almost constant blush in her cheeks. Everthing I didn't deserve.

I growled at my own thoughts.

Why was I harping on them? On her?

Oh yeah, because Buffy was gone today. Mother-daughter bonding day. And Willow was wearing those spandex work-out clothes that showed every soft curve in her newly soft-toned body. I was glad she wasn't getting too muscular.

We'd moved on from simple moves recently and Buffy and I had been teaching her martial arts for the last two months. She, like always, was eager to learn, and caught on fast. If she had the strength, I'm sure she could take Buffy. She was good at switching up and keeping me on my toes. And very good and guessing others' moves before or as they were making them. She would have time to block or use it against me most of the time.

A leg came up, intending a kick to the stomach. The kid gloves had been off for weeks now. But Willow saw it coming and grabbed my calf with both hands. She used my momentum and the unbalance I got when my foot didn't connect with anything, and with all her strength, she yanked it up.

My second leg went out from under me and I was suspended in the air for a moment before she dropped me, gasping, and I hit head first before toppling on my side.

Holy shit.

I rolled onto my back and looked up at the pretty redhead worrying over me. "Angel! I'm so sorry. I...don't know...what happened..." she was gasping between words, trying to catch her breath. But we both had a pretty good idea of what had happened.

The magic she'd unconsciously used seemed to thicken the air around us, pressing against us. If I could breath, I'd be panting. Well, I was anyway, but more so if I _had_ to. If my heart could beat, it would be racing like Willow's was.

The air was charged and I vaguely wondered if it was because of our attraction or if the magic itself was sexual.

Well, that didn't really make sense since she'd used it to life me in the air, one-handed.

But I couldn't really think of all that right now. I could only stare up at Willow, her breath coming in gasps and her sudden arousal adding to the smell of mine. My dick was straining against my sweatpants and seeing it was probably what brought hers out since I wasn't even trying to hide it. I don't know why I wasn't.

She was staring into my eyes now, apprehensively and with not a small amount of desire. "Angel...what... what was that?"

"I don't know." I said quickly, grabbing her dangling arm and pulling her down to the floor with me. She gasped in surprise but gave in immediately, ready when I dipped my head to kiss her.

I tried to control myself, kiss her gently like the very first time, but just like the first time, it snowballed. It wasn't brutal like that time had become, but it was passionate and heated and intense and I needed more.

It was different than all the other times. It would have been like when I was Angelus, except she wasn't just participating, she was fighting me for dominance.

She pulled, back gasping for breath, and I thought I was going to die if she told me we needed to stop. I switched my mouth to her neck, desperate to keep her from overthinking this. Just feel, I pleaded to her in my mind. But her mindframe must have been as needy as mine because she didn't even hesitate. Tilting her head to give me better access, her hands clutched my shoulders tightly as she switched from laying across my lap to straddling it. Her heat was burning through her spandex, right into me, sending me into a frenzy.

I claimed her mouth again, pushing up and forward to lay her on the ground before me. Her hands were on my shirt, so I matched her, ripping hers down the center and then ripping her bra off. Part of me knew I should calm down, slow down. I didn't want to scare her. But the other part just couldn't.

But it didn't matter because the rougher I was, the wetter she got. I didn't pause to admire her perfect breasts, I just wanted to feel them. Feel her skin against mine. Clothes were bad. And I didn't want to stop kissing her anyway.

She was wriggling beneath me, her pebbled nipples rubbing against my chest as she fought to devest herself of her shorts and panties. It wasn't working well since I was refusing to give her room to do it. I pulled back to let her breath again. Again going to her neck and nibbling along her jaw to her collarbone while my hands snaked between us, gripping the fabric and pulling it apart along the seam. Her underwear were then ripped away and she panted heavily, gripping my hair tightly.

I was aware, in my memories, that she'd only been with the wolf before. Her and Xander's fluke hadn't went that far I was aware that she was single but had been trying to win her wolf back. I was aware, but I didn't give a fuck.

"Angel..." she pleaded, wiggling under me a little and pressing herself to me harder. With a growl, I finished undressing us by pulling my sweatpants down my legs just enough to get access to her. Her little whimper at feeling me guide myself to her core obliterated any control I had.


	16. My fingers claw your skin

**Angel's POV**

With all control gone, I thrust into Willow to the hilt. She let out a pained yelp/scream and I stilled. Oh God, did I hurt her? I smelled blood.

"I thought you had done this."

She nodded, swallowing thickly. "I have."she panted out. "But...he wasn't this big. Or rough."

My dead heart clenched. "Willow...I am so sorry. I-"

"I'm fine." she cut me off. Wiggling beneath me a little, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay."

I nodded, slowly moving out of her and then pushing back in against her. She was so hot, wet, and soft. And strangling my dick in her tight hold. "Are you okay?" I asked, noticing the wince she gave.

She opened her eyes, those shining eyes staring up at me. "Faster." she gasped. I complied to the best of my abilities, fighting against the resistance of her tight channel.

**Willow's POV**

I felt a sharp stinging at first but it seemed to dull into the background quickly at the pleasure I started to feel. When he started to go faster at my direction, I could see the relief on his previously strained face.

A long moan came out of my mouth and my legs wrapped around his waist, digging into his ass. My arms wrapped under his and came to dig into his shoulder blades as I arched into him. "God!" I gasped. "Angel..."

He leaned down to me, licking the tears from my face in the most strangely erotic thing I'd ever seen. His mouth moved to mine and I swallowed his grunts as he swallowed my moans. It wasn't long before the pain was long forgotten. I knew it would be back later, but I didn't care.

I ripped my mouth away, panting for breath. "Harder, Angel. Don't hold back."

And he obliged, meeting my eyes as he pounded into me. My right hand moved from his back to his face, my thumb tracing his cheekbone. He was so fucking beautiful. When my hand moved back to its original positon on his back, he dipped his head to kiss along my neck. "God, Willow..."

"...Angel...so close...oh, soooo close...please..." I could barely speak. My mind was muddled, only registering the pleasure. The complete burning ecstasy ripping through my body and racing across my skin. I felt like I could cry. "Oh! Oh! Yes! Angel!"

Fangs pierced the side of my throat, the sharp and unexpected pain sending me over the edge. I screamed, my muscles spasming and Angel let go to roar. Instinctively, I bit down on his shoulder to muffle the sobs that were threatening to overwhelm me. God, it was just too much. Too much and not enough and I wanted it to go on forever.

I released Angel's shoulder from my teeth and settled onto the ground, panting hard as Angel's thrusts slowed and stopped before he pulled out of me and rolled onto his back by my side.

After a few moments of catching my breath and coming down from the high of our coupling, Angel spoke. "I didn't mean to bite you. I just...I wasn't really thinking."

"Yeah, me either." I grinned.

He let out an unneccesary breath of relief and smiled. I wasn't used to that, but it was nice. "You really surprised me with that bite." he commented, fingering the healing wound on his shoulder. I grunted in acknowledgement as I sat up, trying to fight my fatigue.

"That was really intense." I told him instead, floating my backpack toward me.

"Yeah." he agreed. I looked back at him to see him with his sweats pulled back up and his eyes closed. He was still smiling slightly.

I shook my head in amusement and hurriedly dug up my school clothes from my backpack. I pulled the remains of my shorts off and put on my jeans, a little uncomfortable wearing them without underwear. I pulled out my long sleeve shirt and put my sweater on to hide my bra-less chest. After finding the scraps of material that used to be my underclothes, stuffed all the ruined clothes into my backpack.

I stood up, hissing at the already sore feeling returning between my legs and went to the bathroom to clean up.

**Angel's POV**

"Are you alright?" I asked when she came back from fixing her hair and washing up. She nodded silently and I sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"And thanks." I told her sincerely. "For not making a big deal about this." I waved toward the floor.

She looked stricken for a second, then realization dawned and she hurriedly hid the hurt. Nodding again, she swallowed hard, and forced a smile. I was surprised at how realistic it looked. I would have believed it if I hadn't witnessed the play of emotion beforehand. But what was the problem? I know she would never expect me to tell Buffy about this or leave Buffy for her. She wasn't that type of person. "You're welcome but I should go." she spoke finally.

I glanced up quickly, shaken from my thoughts. "Oh. But...patrol. Buffy will be here in an hour or so to get us."

She shook her head. "I can't go tonight or she'll see the bite. And I have some homework. So...tomorrow. See ya then." She started to the door.

"Well, wait. I'll walk y-"

"NO!" she yelled. At my stricken face, she tried to compose herself. "I drove today...my parents...they, uh, left the car. Like always. But I drove today because my ankle was still hurting a little this morning from that vamp fight last night. But I have the car...so I'm fine." And she hurried away.

I followed her to the door and watched her jump into some sort of Explorer or SUV before speeding away. What the hell was that about? Well, she probably feels guilty about what happened. Because Buffy. The hurt must have been her realizing exactly how much it would hurt her best friend. I mean, Willow is worse than me with guilt when it means blaming herself.


	17. Be careful of the curse

**Willow's POV**

I pretended like nothing happened. It was hard at first. To see him and not blush was impossible at first, but I would just replay his words and the blush didn't last. I just had to push him to the back of my mind.

Think of how much I hurt Oz. How much I hurt Cordy. How she hated me now and I couldn't be with Oz again in good conscience after what I did with Angel. But I wasn't sure I would want to be with him again anyway. I thought of Faith and the Mayor and I did my homework and kept the house clean.

For two months, I kept him to the back of my mind. I put a glamour over the bite and hardly ever took it off. Just to check on it sometimes, see if it would heal soon. It scarred.

Two weeks after our encounter, I didn't get my period. A month later, two weeks before the Mayor would ascend, I went and got checked out. After that, I stayed away from Angel as much as possible. I'd continued training before, but made sure Buffy was always there too. But after finding out, I stopped training.

I went to school and came home. I got updates on Mayor plans from Buffy and Xander over the phone everynight and then I would sleep before starting it over the next day.

In the last two weeks I decided what I would do. I'd never be able to get rid of my baby. I'd never been able to understand how anyone could.

So I got busy, sending letters and filing paperwork. Three days before graduation, I got the final papers, making me officially Willow Katherine Casey. Two days later, I received my acceptance letter to the University College of Dublin. I was packed with all my things in my parents' car and had withdrew all my savings from the bank.

Turns out, Angel was leaving too. Didn't matter. I still had to go. I was pregnant, with the baby of a vampire that happened to be my best friend's one true love. How could I possibly stay? I didn't have the right to stay!

So I never even considered changing my plans. With a little hacking to push it along, I bought a plane ticket and stashed everything in the car.

I was leaving. This town. My oblivious friends. My life. Two days after graduation.

**Angel's POV**

"So...does anyone notice that Willow has been...not...here." Oz started, glancing around everyone. "I mean...I thought we were getting back together. There was definite couply things happening...and then it just stopped."

"Maybe she's heartbroken." Buffy suggested.

Oz shook his head. "No. She just kind of drifted off. But I'm not even really talking about that because it was months ago...but recently-"

"Yeah." Xander spoke up. "For the last few weeks, she's been at home or school constantly. No bronzing. No patrolling. No Scooby meetings." He looked really thoughtful for a minute.

"She quit training with me and Angel too." Buffy added.

"I haven't seen her in the library either." Giles noticed.

Buffy was still staring at a thoughtful Xander. "What is it, Xan?" Buffy asked him.

"Huh?"

"Well...you know Willow better than anyone besides Oz. Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I fear that Willow has seemed different." Giles commented.

We all looked to Xander. I'd noticed Willow's evasiveness too. It was troubling and I would've thought it was me, but she'd only been doing it recently. Something else was going on. "If I'm right...Willow's planning something." He looked around all our confused faces. "She's a planner. She comes up with an idea and picks at it to death, makes it perfect. And it isn't to do with the mayor, because no matter what she'd tell us if it was. Unless she was unsure that it would even help. But I feel like this is something more personal."

"Like?"

"I don't know." he admitted. "But..." He sighed exaggeratedly. "I don't know."

"After the mayor is defeated...we'll find out." Buffy decided. I nodded wearily, not so sure if we should wait. But Buffy always knew best.

**Willow's POV**

"Guys, take a moment to deal with this." Oz said as we looked at the burning remains of our school. I felt a few tears fall down my face. "We survived."

"It was a hell of a battle!" Buffy exclaimed, her voice pretty cheerful to have just lost the love of her life.

"Not the battle." Oz corrected. "High school."

"We're taking a moment-" he paused, "-and we're done." I smiled despite myself. I was going to miss Oz. I was going to miss them all.  
>Xander gets up, starting off with Cordelia. I sighed and stood from the bench as did Buffy and Oz and we walked to the cars.<p>

**Angel's POV**

The car that's usually always in Willow's garage was in the driveway, filled with two big suitcases. I snuck to the back of the house, pausing by the kitchen where the lights were on. No one was speaking but the three heartbeats proved that I was right. Her parents were home for a change.

They had been every night for the past week or so I'd been coming by. I still hadn't managed to hear a word from them or even Willow talking to them. Even though they always seemed to be in the same room.

They must be some cold people. But I guess it was good that at least they were home. Them just being there was better than them being gone like they had been before. I just wondered why they weren't at graduation. But of course, Willow probably talked them into staying home.

I nodded to myself, glad that she seemed okay and resolving to let her friends help her with whatever she was hiding. My gut clenched a little as I made my way back to the street, back to the mansion. To pack. To leave.


	18. Screaming in the dark

**Willow's POV**

"Hello." I started politely as soon as the door opened.

"Hello." the woman behind the door seemed sweet enough, if not a little startled by my American accent. "Can I 'elp ya?"

"I heard that you take boarders." I started, looking to her hopefully. "I-" I glanced down to my stomach. Four months along, I was still pretty small to be having twins. That discovery had put a little strain on my plan but I was sure I could get by as long as I found a place soon and stopped with the ridiculous hotel fees. If I could get a job, I'd have money to spare. I didn't really need one for maybe a year or so, but better safe than sorry.

The woman followed my gaze to my stomach. "Oh, dear. Please...come in." she said hurriedly, pulling me into the cozy sitting room. "Do you need anything? Something to eat or drink?"

I laughed a little. "I wasn't trying to get pity. I just thought you may be...unwilling to take me because I'm single and soon to be a mother. Some people I've happened upon were rather...repulsed by that."

The older lady shook her head frantically. "No. Dear, that doesn't bother me at all. It's just that I'd stopped renting out the room. I'm getting old, ya see and I'm not meant to last much longer."

Tears flooded my eyes almost involuntarily. Just the resignation and complete acceptance on her face was the saddest thing I'd seen in a while. "You-you're dying?"

She smiled sadly. "Don't you get all worked up o'er me, dearie."

The tears came then. "Well..uh, Miss..."

"Kavanagh. But you just call me Mickey."

"Mickey?"

"It's Micah, really. But my mother was something of a wild spirit and I hated having a boy's name."

I nodded, thinking that was a very pretty name myself. "Well, Micah, if you would take me in, I wouldn't need you to tend to me. I could cook and even clean for the both of us."

"There's no discussion 'bout me puttin' ya up, dearie. But you don't need ta be doin' me work."

"I want to!" I exclaimed before taking a deep breath to calm myself. "I'm starting at the University soon and I need a place nearby. When I'm not in classes, I'd be happy to help you."

"Well, then you're staying for free." she decided.

"No. I can p-"

"For free. Or no deal." she said sternly, eyeing me. "I don't need the money, dear."

I nodded with a small smile. "Okay. For free, then."

**Xander's POV**

"What's going on, Buff?" I said jovially as she opened the front door.

If I was expecting a hug and 'welcome back' I was dissappointed. "What do you mean 'what's going on?' Xander!" Buffy screeched, pulling me into her house.

"Jeez, glad you missed me." I muttered. I shrugged to myself, resolving to go to Willow's house as soon as I could get away from crazy Buffy. Will would want to see me.

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"WILLOW!" Buffy hissed.

I stepped back. "What? How would I know?"

"Have you talked to her?" she asked. "Called her at all over the summer?"

I felt my heart dropping. "No. But-"

"She's gone, Xander!" Buffy yelled, sobs wracking her suddenly. "I went to L.A. to spend Abandoning-you-doesn't-mean-I-don't-love-you time with Hank and I came back last week and she's gone. Mom and Dawn said she hadn't called at all when I asked because I was surprised she didn't call me there. I went to her house and it's up for sale! I called her parents' emergency numbers she gave me and Shiela said she ran off. She wasn't even freaked out! She said it was a phase! Willow doesn't have abandon-your-friend phases."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "So...she's missing? Maybe...dead?"

Buffy shook her head. "She is gone. As in, left. Her room was mostly empty and her parents said that they found their car dumped at LAX. She took a plane somewhere!"

I shook my head in confusion. "No. Willow wouldn't-"

"What? Willow wouldn't what?"

I buried my face in my hands. "We never found out what was wrong."

"HUH?"

"Before graduation." I bit out, irritated at her empty-headedness. "She was being evasive about something. I told you she was planning something. This was it."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah."

"But Willow wouldn't just leave. She'd at least let us know she wasn't dead." Buffy cried.

I nodded. "Yeah. I better get home and find my note. You too."

"I don't have one. I've checked everywhere already."

I shrugged. "Your email?"

"I never use that." Buffy said, her face implying I was an idiot and her hands on her hips.

"Buffy...Willow is computer gal. Check your email."

**Buffy's POV**

Turns out Xander knew what he was talking about. After deleting all the spam in my box, I had a few ads and one actual letter. Sent from Willow on June 10, 1999.

_Dear Buffy,_

_I'm safe. Sorry I had to leave but know that you'll always be one of my best friends. Don't look for me but if you ever need help, email me. _

_Love, Willow_

Two lousy lines? Two lines! Ugh! Standing up quickly, I punched the wall and grabbed my phone. Xander answered on the second ring with a dispassionate, "Yeah?"

"You got one too."

"Yeah."

"What's it say?"

Silence.

"Was it only two lines?"

"No. Why?"

"What does it say Xander?"

He sighed. "Dear Xander, I'm safe. Sorry I had to leave and I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye to your face, but I knew if I tried, I wouldn't be able to go. Just so you know, you'll always be my bestest bud, Xander. And if you ever need me. For Scooby computer stuff or bestfriend stuff, I'm still here. Love, Willow." There was a long pause. "It's so short."

"Longer than mine." I said bitterly.

"Are you gonna write?"

I scoffed. "No. She left. Left us alone without a goodbye. I can't e-"

"See. Maybe that's why you only got two lines. 'Cause you're such a great friend." The line went dead.


	19. A man who's pure of heart

**In this story, after Angel helps out with the Chumash Indian, Buffy didn't go to L.A. to confront him. That whole turn back time thing never happened. **

**Angel's POV**

"So what do we do now?" the girl asked Xander as I watched from the shadows by the side of the street.

"We could stay here and stand watch, or I just don't-"

I stepped out in front of them. "Xander."

He looked taken aback and instantly weary and irritated. Good to see you too. "Angel?"

"So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?" the girl commented.

I furrowed a brow. "He's evil again."

"I'm not evil again." I said quickly, feeling slightly irritated. "I'm here to protect Buffy. I haven't been evil for a long time."

"Why aren't you talking to her then?" Xander asked, peevishly.

"I don't want her to know I'm here."

"Well, do you have something for us to know?" Xander asked, his eyes wide in a 'get on with it' way.

I sighed. "Yeah. All the chumash weapons are missing from the cultural center. Something's up. Where's Buffy?

"At Giles'. She sent us to check on Dean Guerrero."

"Why the Dean?"

"We think he's going after someone in charge. A leader?"

I sighed again. With Xander, it was a regular thing. Like hating him. Wierd that I hated him when he was so much like Doyle. I understood why him and Willow and Buffy were so close. I felt a pang and pushed the redhead from my mind. I tried not to think of her unless I was somewhere alone to think. "He's a warrior. To a warrior, the leader means the strongest fighter."

Xander grunted in frustration. "Buffy."

"He's formed a raiding party."

"We gotta get over there." Xander exclaimed.

"I'll call her. You get back fast." I told him. He was already running with his girlfriend or whoever in tow. I think that was the most civilized conversation we ever had, especially with nobody around to break up the bickering.

**Doyle's POV**

"What does that thing do?" I asked, motioning to the beacon.

Angel looked grim. "Its light kills anything with human blood."

I sighed, a knot forming in my gut. "Well, it's getting brighter and that doohickey - it's fully armed, isn't it?"

"Almost. If I pull the cable, I think I can still shut it off."

I furrowed a brow. "How're you gonna do that without touching the light?" The realization came even as I was still asking the question.

Cordy gasped. "Angel, that's suicide."

"There's got to be another way." I told him seriously.

Angel looked at the demons in the hold then at Cordy. "It's all right." His tone said that it definitely wasn't.

Cordy shook her head frantically. "No!"

Angel put a hand on my shoulder and I put a hand on his arm, the idea forming in my head. The world still needed Angel. "The good fight, yeah? - You never know until you've been tested. - I get that now."

I hauled and arm back and hit Angel with a hard right to the chin, knocking him down into the cargo hold. Turning to Cordy, I started in to plant a kiss on her lips before diving to disarm the beacon. Something stopped me. I opened my eyes against the searing blue light that was growing around the beacon.

Shaking off the wierdness, I morphed into my demon face. "Too bad we'll never know if this is a face you could learn to love."

I can hear Angel trying to hurry up the ladder and yelling my name. I take a deep breath, prepared to try the kiss again. I can't take the visions with me.

Then there is another light, brighter and purer that pushes me and Cordy down into the cargo hold where I landed on top of my friends.

Suddenly, the eery light from above goes out. Someone disconnected the cable. 'Self sacrifice.' a gentle, soft voice said in my mind. Definitely not my own thoughts. 'That was noble. Glad I could save a good guy. Tell Cordy to give you a chance.'

**Willow's POV**

Trans-locating back into Mickey's livingroom, I stumbled onto the couch. "Willow! I told you not to go!" she admonished, rushing into the room from the sound of my ungraceful entrance. She was close to tears. "I know you've been excelling at your studies but you're still eight months pregnant! That isn't good for you."

"That dream was for a reason, Gran." I told her seriously. "I was meant to save him." I grinned widely. "And I did. I saved him." And then I passed out.

**Cordy's POV**

"Why are you so quiet?" I asked, setting down the shot glass on the small bar. Angel had insisted we celebrate. Doyle had almost died. Had been prepared to sacrifice himself for us. Had tried to do it.

Doyle glanced up to me, entirely more sober than you'd expect a semi-alcoholic to be when celebrating life-saveage. "Who was she?" she whispered.

"She?"

"Whoever saved us. She spoke into my mind." He shook his head a little, like he didn't believe it.

"What'd she say?"

"That I was noble and she was glad she could save someone like me." He grinned then. "And that you should give me a chance."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't fight the smile. "I already told you I'd go on a date with you. You don't have to make stuff up."

He frowned then and shook his head. "She really said that. She said 'And tell Cordy to give you a chance' like she knew us personally."

"Did you see her?" Angel asked, getting Doyle's attention.

Doyle shook his head. "I didn't see anyone. Something physically stopped me from kissing Cordy, then it shoved me down into the cargo hold and then she was in my head." He looked to Angel. "What could have done that?"

Angel sighed. "There are too many things to count."


	20. I hunt for you with bloodied feet

**Willow****'s POV**

**"**What will you name them dear?**" **Gran asked, settling herself more comfortably in the chair by my hospital bed.

I smiled down at the babies in my arms, wrapped in a pink and blue blanket with the little white hospital beanies on their heads. **"**Well…for the boy, I have a name. But for the girl, I need your permission.**"**

Gran smiled at me, so big and watery that I started to cry. "You sure you wanna curse her with that name?"

I nodded warmly, cuddling the babies closer to me. "I think Micah is a beautiful name."

"And the boy?"

I didn't even have to think of it. "Jesse."

**Xander's POV**

_Dear Wills, _

_Joyce passed away the today. That tumor I was telling you about…it wasn't as gone as we thought. I know Buffy hasn't really been talking to you, but I could really use some support from you on this. Like an actual answer. The funeral is on Tuesday at seven in the Rest field Cemetery. We're doing a night time deal so Spike can go. Don't ask. _

_Please write back. _

_Love, Xan-Man. _

I read the letter twice, trying to figure out how this could happen. Mrs. Summers had been like a favored aunt. A cool aunt that I liked more than my own mother most of the time. But hey, being cooler than my mom wasn't so hard. She'd been the same toWillow. And again, not too hard since not evenWillowreally knew her mother well.

Reading the letter once more to make sure it sounded right, which was pointless because it was already sent, I was surprised when I was about to sign off and noticed I had a new piece of mail in the Inbox.

I clicked there, surprised to see she'd already wrote back. She must have just happened to be on. I wasn't sure if that was lucky or not.

Her letter was short and sweet.

_Dear Xander, _

_Meet me at the Van Coup Crypt after the ceremony. Be strong. I love you. _

_Willow_

I smiled happily at the reply and scooted back from the computer desk. I needed to go console the girls.

**Willow's POV**

"I have to go to Sunnydale on Tuesday. Could yo-"

"I'll keep the little ones dear, you know that."

"I hate asking you this. You're already so worn down. They'll just have you fretting. I could ask Colleen to do it. She wouldn't-"

"Willow. Stop." Gran demanded. "Dear, _you_ are the fretter in this relationship. And I really wish you'd take work off for once without it being to save a life or going to a funeral or one of the babies being sick."

I shrugged helplessly. "Well, I'll get to see Xander face to face."

"Will you tell him?"

"Tell him what?" I asked innocently.

She harrumphed at me, but didn't give up. "I don't know, darling. That you've got two eight-month old children. You go to college during the day, work in the afternoon with your children in the diner, and baby-sit an old woman every evening. Or that you train non-stop as a way to release tension and practice spells as a hobby. You practically have your own coven. You're wearing yourself ragged, spreading yourself thin."

"Hey! That's not my coven. They can barely stand me. I'm too young to be so powerful, blah blah blah. It's the only reason they keep me, ya know….the power."

"Well..."

"What?"

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Should I?"

"Darlin', you need a break. A real one. You always have to worry about everyone and everything. Just…I'm just worried."

"About what will happen when you pass." I supplied. Gran talked about it a lot and told me not to be afraid to mention it. She said it was coming no matter if we ignored it or not.

"About who will look out for you." She corrected. "No one does. Not even I do it well enough. If I was stronger, I'd force you to slow down."

"Gran, I promise, I'll slow down. Once I finish my four years in College, I'll be ready to get a great-paying job and someone to baby-sit for me. I have complete control of my powers now and they're growing everyday, but I won't be too wrapped up in them. I'll even slow down on the training."

"And meet some friends." She added. "And a boyfriend."  
>I sighed. "Gran-"<p>

"That young man that didn't want you. The one that is missing out on you and these lovelies…he's a stupid man. Don't punish them all for his foolishness."

I shrugged, sighing deeply. "Finding a man that's okay with a witch that already has two children, a shady past, and abandonment issues isn't that easy Gran."


	21. across the hallowed ground

**Dawn's POV**

I was all cried out. Unlike Buffy, I had sobbed and sobbed. Now I just couldn't do it anymore. Buffy though, she was catatonic almost. Completely stoic.

Riley was by her side, trying to reassure her. Let her know she could cry. That everything was alright.

She was having none of it though. Xander, on the other hand, was looking around the cemetery awkwardly, like he was searching for someone. I followed his eyes, settling on a shadow about forty feet away. I could barely see it, wouldn't have if I hadn't looked for it specifically.

I wondered how Xander had seen them.

Finally, the service ended, the preacher stopping his droning. It angered me that he even spoke at all. He didn't know her!

But he was 'a man of God' so whatever.

I watched Xander whisper something to Anya and she went to Buffy to give her a tight hug and Xander snuck off toward the shadow.

The shadow walked away but Xander hurried after it. I hurried after him.

I stopped at the side wall of a familiar crypt. Well, really all the crypts were familiar. The whole cemetery was.

"I'm so glad you came." Xander said, his voice far more choked up than I'd heard him during this whole event.

"I'll always be here for you, you know that Xan." A soft, feminine voice responded. I knew that voice! I hadn't heard it in around fourteen months, but I knew it. Willow….

"I've missed you so much, Wills." Xander was out-right sobbing now. Something he hadn't allowed any of us to see. His words were muffled, so I assumed she was hugging him.

"I've missed you more." She whispered. I peaked around the crypt quickly, getting a tiny look at her with her arms around Xander. She looked so different from a year before. Her hair had grown out again, now hanging past her shoulder blades in layers of vibrant red silkiness. Her features were the same, but she'd seemed to grow into them and she wore makeup that made her eyes pop and her lips slightly shiny. She'd went from pretty to stunning in her absent time. "Do you think I should go see Buffy?"

He pulled back a little, I could tell by the rustle of clothing. "Are you planning to stay?"

"Well…." She stammered over her words, "No. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Xander." She sighed. "There are lots of reasons. And I want to tell you, but I don't want you caught up in all my responsibilities. But just know that I do have them. So…should I go see Buff?"

"No. She's been on a Willow-the-deserter trip and if you see her just to leave again…"

"I get it. I just…I don't know. I wanted to comfort Dawn too. But if I can't see Buffy…I can't see her."

Xander sighed. "So…how long are you staying in town?"

"Remember those responsibilities?" she asked. "I have to be back tonight. So…five hours at the most. Do you want to have fun or do you want comfort?"

Xander chuckled at her bluntness. "Let's divide the time. And I'll talk to Dawn about you missing her." Xander andWillowpassed right by me then, heading toward the entrance of the cemetery. "I'll meet you in the parking lot after telling Anya I want to be alone."Willownodded. "She can't keep secrets to save her life, so she can't know."Willownodded again. "By the way…you look really good Will."


	22. If you could only see

**Spike's POV**

'Spike' a voice called in my head. I whipped my head around, looking for the intruder. I knew that voice from somewhere. Hmm… 'Are you there?'

"Uh…yeah." I answered.

'Is someone up there with Dawn?' she asked.

"Yeah. Don't know who."

'Get up there.' She ordered.

"Who the bloody hell-"

'She needs help!' the woman snapped. I sighed in aggravation, ignoring the watcher, demon-girl and the whelp's stares as I peeked at all the minions and crazies blocking us from the tower.

"But-I-"

'GO!' she yelled in my head. Obeying immediately, I hightailed it toward my Bit, surprised when the mob was separated like theRed Seaby an invisible force.

I made it to the tower and climbed up quickly, never stopping or hesitating until I got to the top, where Doc had a knife on my Nibblet.

**Willow****'s POV**

The fight wasn't going well for Spike on top of the tower, and since Buffy was busy beating Glory's ass after the magic I'd used to weaken her and most of the Scoobies were ducking for cover, I was the only reinforcement.

Surprise, Glory. Didn't know about me, did you?

Dawn's life was more important than my fucking privacy, so I hightailed it up.

On top of the tower, Spike was thrown off just as I got to the top. "NO!" Dawn was screaming as Spike fell.

I knew that was going to hurt like hell but as long as his head wasn't severed and there was no heart-piercage, he'd be okay. I still winced when he landed though. Doc stood up straight to address Dawn again but stopped when he saw me.

"This should be interesting."

I shot a bolt of magic out of my right palm, slamming into him, and he stumbled back and fell from the tower.

"Hmm…interesting." I murmured, chuckling a little to myself.

"Will?" Dawn asked, stepping forward with hesitant hope on her face.

"Dawnie…" I sighed, pulling the girl into a tight hug. She immediately reciprocated the hug as she crushed me to her. Sobs started soon after. "It's okay now, Dawnie. I love you."

"DAWN!" I heard Buffy scream from nearby.

"Time's up for the ritual. You're safe now. If you ever need me…." I let the suggestion trail off as I gently forced Dawn a step back. She looked heartbroken and scared and a little confused.

**Dawn's POV**

Willowgave a little wave of her hand and a warm smile and disappeared with a flash of clouds and lightning. Buffy appeared not a second later, looking relieved and close to tears. I fell into her arms as soon as she got close enough and joined her in the sobs.

I must have been in shock a little and Buffy must have forced me down the ladder because the next thing I knew the group was hugging. Weird to have Spike in a group hug. Or any hug at all, really.

"How?" was all Giles asked.

I met Xander's eyes and he smiled a little. I nodded. I don't know how, but he knew.

"What was it?" Anya asked. "Who?" she reiterated.

I hesitated a moment, unsure of what to do. I was pretty sure Willow wouldn't want them to know, she had left pretty quickly after all. But I didn't want to lie either. Still, she'd saved my life. A little fib was the least I could do for her. "I don't know." I answered with a deep breath.


	23. The beast you made of me

**Cordy's POV**

"So, what?" I snapped. "She just won't come?"

"Miss Summers wouldn't talk much about it." Wesley replied. "She just kept saying that Miss Rosenberg wasn't there."

**"**Where is she?**" **Angelus asked, his voice a purr.

I didn't even look his way. "Where is she, Wes?"

Wesley looked flustered. "Well…uh, it seems that she has been missing for quite some time."

"Where'd she go?" I demanded.

"They have no idea."

"I have an idea." Gunn said suddenly, coming into the room followed by the redhead in question.

"Willow!" I yelled, advancing to her quickly. I stopped in front of her, looking her up and down. "You look great." I told her truthfully, surprised at how much she'd changed.

Willowsmiled. "Let's get this soul back in his body, 'kay?"

"Aw, come on." Angelus purred. "I know you miss me, baby."

"Where's the jar?"Willowasked Wesley.

"Don't ignore me, witch." The caged vampire snapped. "I'm not Soul-boy. And you know that. So you must know that when I get ahold of you, you're going to be severely punished."

Wesley watched the interaction, like I did, slightly mystified. Why was Angelus so familiar with Willow? Finally, Wesley seemed to snap out of it and hurried upstairs for the jar.

"Are you still ignoring me, baby?"

"Stop calling me that."Willowsnapped, finally facing the vampire down.

"We had a deal, dear Willow." He said, his voice going seductive again.

"Who's the babe?" Connor asked, entering the little dungeon-y room and nodding his headWillow's way.

Willowignored him, along with Angelus' growl at Connor. "And I didn't break our deal."Willowtold the psychotic murderer.

"You hid from me."

"You never told me I couldn't."

"It's common sense."

"I said I'd do anything you said. I didn't say I'd have common sense."

"Let me out of the cage." He ordered.

Willowshrugged. "Okay, _now_ I'm breaking the deal because there is no way in hell I'm opening that cage."

"Will-ow." He sing-songed. "Didn't you enjoy our time together? Why are you being so rude to me now? There will be minimal spankings if you let me out now."

A harsh bark of laughter came fromWillow. "Wesley! Hurry the- oh, there you are." She took the jar from the ex-watcher and started her preparations on the floor.

"Are you going to answer me?"

"No."

"Why not? I thought we had something."

"You had a little possessive crush on me. That was it." She said, still setting up her little witch circle.

"That night in the school…seemed like more than a crush to me."

Willowtook a deep breath as she took her place in the circle. "I let you kiss me to save Miss Calendar. That isn't a big deal."

"And what a kiss it was." He declared, stepping as close to the bars as possible. He rocked against it provocatively. "Your tight little body wriggling under me-"

"Angelus." She hissed out in warning. "You were trapping me to the floor. Stop making it sound like something it wasn't."

"I'm just glad you started wearing clothes to show that body off." He continued speaking as if she hadn't interrupted. "Hiding it back then…I never would have even known… never would have wanted to turn you. Drain you. Fuck you. If it hadn't been for your little fighting lessons with Soul-boy." I noticedWillowflinch at the words. "All that spandex….God!"

"Shut up." She demanded, her voice seeming to weaken.

"Oh baby…don't be like that. Soul-boy didn't get it, but I've always wanted you." He motioned to Connor with his head. "Sure as hell wasn't me that knocked Darla up with _him._"

Willowglanced to Connor suddenly. "You're a vampire? I didn't feel-"

"He's human." I interrupted. "Darla and Angel's son, stuck in a dimension for three days and it was fifteen years there."

"Oh."

"Disappointed that it wasn't you?" Angelus taunted her. I watched her closely. Did her and Angel have something going on before? Or her and Angelus?

I didn't get a chance to ask, because something about Angelus' taunt strengthened her and she started her chant.

"Willow! We made a deal! He doesn't care about you like I do, baby! Hey!" She was ignoring him. "Willow, when I get out of here…you'll be first to know." He threatened. Still,Willowchanted. Her voice got stronger, her hair started to bleed white, and there was a glow that passed through her before zooming into Angel.

"How did you know we needed you?" I asked her once Angel collapsed.

She looked up, her eyes sagging. "I felt it." And then she disappeared in a swirl of smoky clouds.


	24. When the autumn moon is bright

**Willow****'s POV**

_Hey, Wills. _

_I know it's starting to seem like I ask for help a lot, but truthfully, just for the big stuff. Demons and vampires…that's easy. _

_Cyborg/human/demons? Not so much…Thanks with Adam, by the way. Don't know if I ever mentioned that spell was awesome. _

_Giles is still confused about how Buffy seemed to be so strong suddenly. They think some diety possessed her. Which, it sorta did. It was just your idea. _

_Also, great work with Glory. I never imagined you would be so much help. I was pretty sure we'd lose someone, but thanks to you…we're all good. And I heard you showed up in __L.A.__ when Angel's soul was taken. How stupid could they have been? They should have made sure you were around before doing that shit. Taking it for granted that they could put it back._

_So now, Hell Goddess and Frankenstein are dead…we need help again. Well, not us. Angel. Again. One of his workers is possessed by a Hell God. It's killing her from the inside, Will and they don't know how to get her out. Wesley called, practically begging. Can you do anything?_

**Spike's POV**

As soon as I approached Fred's room, I smelt it. I heard it. I was confused. There were four heartbeats and the smell of Willow. I would always remember Red's smell. Strawberries and vanilla, a smidge of coconut.

"If she is a danger, you should probably kill her now. Before she wakes up."Willow was telling someone.

"But she looks so innocent." Wesley argued.

"There is no human soul in there. She's dead. An Old One is in there. A demon. But if you wait to see that, you'll be dead too. If she is dangerous, you should do it now. Or get Angel or whoever to. I can't but-"

I pushed open the door, completely enraged at the conversation. They were going to kill Fred in her sleep? Like a dog!

I was slightly surprised though, to see another girl unconscious in the bed. Just when I entered and the door hit the wall, the Texan scientist and the pretty blonde both sat up quickly.

"Fred?" I whispered. She hadn't been completely awake in awhile.

"What happened?" she asked in her sweet southern accent. I wanted to hug the bint, but held myself back. This could be a trick.

"Who performed this transfer?" the blonde asked suddenly, her eyes turning blue and then blue streaking down her hair and tinting the top of her forehead. Her lips went slightly blue and all the skin surrounding her hair followed suit.

"Illyria." I breathed, my grin spreading.

"Yes." She said mechanically. "Who transferred me into this shell?"

"I don't know. Can't your shell remember?"

"She remembers only being killed by a hybrid."Illyria rotated her neck. "Someone has repaired the break."

"What's going on i-" Lorne shut up suddenly as he appeared in the doorway. "Fred?"

"It'sme." The Texan chirped sweetly. "I'm still really tired though."

"Bloody hell." I breathed, realizing suddenly that Willow had done this. Red had saved Fred. Fred lie back on the bed and sighed, closing her eyes to relax while Illyria continud to search the room with her eyes.

"Well, you know what to do if you need me."Willow said suddenly, bending at the waist to kiss Wes' cheek. The Brit flushed crimson and Willow smiled. "Thanks for trusting me." And then she dissolved into clouds and lightning.

"Who was the witch?"Illyriaasked.

"Uh…that was Willow Rosenberg." Wesley said quietly. "She is a friend of the Slayer."

"She had great power for a human."Illyria observed. "She could be a suitable companion for me."

"Uh….she's a _good _witch." I butted in.

"Who's a good-" Angel stopped abruptly after taking a step in the room. "Where's Willow?"


	25. I howl when we're apart

**Giles' POV**

The bell over the Magic Box jingled as the door was pushed open. "Watcher!" yelled a familiar British voice. I hadn't seen Spike since he'd moved to L.A. Buffy had rekindled her romance with Riley and Spike had stomped out of town the same night.

"What is happening, Spike?" I asked, coming out of the training room. Obviously, something terrible must be happening to bring him here.

I stopped as a flood of people followed him in. Angel was in the lead, looking utterly pissed. "Get the others here!" he demanded.

Oh dear. This must be bad. "Of course." I said, promptly rushing to the telephone.

**Dawn's POV**

"Why is Angel even here?" I whined. Truthfully, I'd never got to know the guy but he always depressed Buffy and I didn't like that.

Riley and Buffy ignored me, hurrying along the sidewalk. Xander leaned in. "G-Man said Spike is with him." He told me.

I squealed, ecstatic about seeing Spike again. Which was probably Xander's intention the whole time.

We made it to the Magic Box only moments later. Spike, Angel, Cordelia, Faith, Wesley and six people I didn't know were sitting around the center table where we usually researched. I could tell by the descriptions from Buffy that the green demon guy was Lorne. The black guy was Gunn. The sweet-faced girl must be Fred. And the girl with all the blue must be Illyria. As for the younger guy, I was puzzled. And the dark-haired older guy holding Cordy's hand...I had no idea. I paused in the doorway. They were _all _there. This looked bad.

Angel stood, facing us. "Xander. Where is Willow?"

"Excuse me?" Xander asked. Anyone could tell he was wary and taken aback by the question.

Angel raced forward, a hand at Xander's throat. "Where is she?" he roared.

"Good one, Peaches. Roughin' up her best mate will get you your answers." Spike said, sarcastically. Seeing him rolling his eyes, I had to smile. I'd missed him. "Torturing won't work on the Whelp. He's too stupid." Hey! That was close to a compliment.

"What the hell is goin' on?" Buffy demanded, breaking Angel's hold on Xander and pushing Angel back. "Willow has been gone for over four years. We don't know where she is so keep your hands to yourself."

"One of you knows." Angel growled.

Spike sighed and stood. "Red's been pulling an Angel on us." He explained. "Always popping up when we need help the most. Someone's talking to the bint."

"And I bet money that it's him." Angel poked Xander in the chest.

"I'm exactly who everyone would suspect." Xander protested.

Angel nodded. "True. And while it would be stupid to allow contact with you, but she's always had a soft spot for you. This would be one thing she'd be stupid about. Now tell me."

"Why do you want to know anyway?" I asked. "What's your damage? She was helping you."

"Do you believe she could be responsible for our unexplained victories as well?" Giles asked suddenly.

Uh oh. "What unexplained victories?" Buffy asked.

Giles sighed. "Adam and Glory. Someone was guiding Spike, speaking into his mind. And then shoving people out of his way."

"Someone was in my head too!" The dark-haired man from Angel's team said.

"That _was _Red." Spike said suddenly. "Knew I'd heard that voice."

Buffy turned to glare at me. "You said you didn't know the dude that threw Doc from the tower."

"Well…uh…Willow- she left for a reason. I didn't think she'd want me to say anything." I looked to Xander but he just shrugged in a non-accusing way. "She saved me." I whispered.

"And you were suddenly strong enough to fight Adam, with a witch's power and my knowledge and Xander's soldier instincts." Giles continued. "A joining spell, of course! That would be exac-"

"Willow saved my life." The dark-haired guy interrupted. "Then, she came and resouled Angel and then she came and saved Fred. How does she know when we need her? Someone is communicating with her."

Xander sighed. "I told her about Glory and Adam. And Fred. I never knew about Angelus or you. So…"

"Who else has been talking to her?" Angel demanded.

We all glanced around to one another. "She was here for mom's funeral." I admitted.

Buffy turned to look at me, utterly heartbroken. "She never contacted me."

"I told her not to." Xander spoke up. "Seeing her and then her leaving again, would have torn you up. And you probably would have chased her away."

"When did you get to start making the decisions?" she demanded.

"Since you decided she was no longer your friend." Xander snapped back. "I was told to keep it between us and to not try to find her. I'm fine with that if she's going to keep talking to me. Because I'm not losing Willow. Not even for you."

There was a long, tense silence. "Willow abandoned you."

"She moved. And she gave us both a way to get in contact with her." Xander argued. "Something big is going on with her, Buffy. She's different. Grown up and all wisened to the world."

"And she's way hot now." Cordelia put in. "What?" she demanded at the weird looks.

"She really was a babe." The youngest of Angel's crew added. How the hell were these guys anyway?

"Sorry…but, who are you?" Buffy asked.

"Sorry." Angel spoke up. "This is Connor, Doyle, Fred, Gunn, Illyria, and Lorne. You know Wes, Faith, Spike, and Cordy."

From what I could tell, Faith and Gunn were a thing, as were Fred and Wes, Cordy and Doyle, and Spike and Illyria. Connor was cute too. I wandered...

No. Back to Willow.

"What's the whole point of this meeting anyway?" I asked suddenly. "Willow is literally a genius. If she doesn't want us to find her, we won't. It's that simple."

"But why did she run anyway?" Angel wanted to know.

I shrugged. "She left a few days after graduation."

Angel looked stricken. "She's been gone that long?"

"And you didn't even notice." Cordy scoffed. "You were up here for three days! How'd you not know!"

Angel looked ashamed. "I thought I was just doing great at avoiding her."

"Why would you do that?"


	26. Drag my teeth across your chest

**Riley's POV**

I could just tell that this was going to turn into an arguement. Everyone was super tensed while this Angel guy talked. Talked about something that happened that none of them noticed and was probably the reason that Buffy's best friend ran away from home.

"...and I thanked her for not making a big deal of it. She seemed wierd about that but she didn't object, so I thought it was fine. Then we were back to normal, if not a little strained. And then suddenly, she was avoiding everyone and -"

I watched Buffy closely, knowing that this might set her off. Angel was her first love and Willow had been her best friend. And the story sounded very much like Willow was some naive little nerd and Angel was the sophisticated older man. I wondered who's side Buffy would take.

"You say that she picked you up right before you uh...that is that you-" Giles couldn't get it out.

"Before they had sex, she picked him off the ground with one hand." Cordelia reiterated. I could definitely see this girl's likeness to Anya. Looked like Xander had the same taste in women. And that guy with Cordelia...the same could be said for her.

"Magic." Giles said with a nod. "Willow was learning. I wouldn't be surprised if she unconsciously reached for it during a fight." Giles pulled off his glasses and started to clean them. "It would also attribute to the spontaneous act afterward."

"What?" Angel demanded.

"I think we can all agree that Willow wasn't the type to engage in sexual acts with someone she didn't care for deeply or for someone in a relationship." Giles replaced his glasses and made eye contact with the vampire. "I don't mean to say it was against her will, or yours. Only that it influenced you both. Almost as if you weren't thinking of the repercussions of such an event."

"So, you still wanted her?" Buffy demanded from her ex. Yep, things just got even more uncomfortable.

Angel's hands burrowed into his pockets, a defensive gesture if I'd ever seen one. "Do you really want to know?"

"I knew it!" Buffy yelled, standing from the table. "When I found out that your 'training' sessions were for like five hours everyday. I knew something was going on."

Angel laughed a little and I tensed as Buffy's gaze narrowed. This wasn't good. "Buffy, there was nothing even going on yet then. I was just trying to teach her."

"So, there was a thing. It wasn't just that once...there was a thing. You cheated on me with my best friend."

The vampire sighed deeply. "Do you remember the night she passed out after headbutting the vampire?" Buffy nodded. "That's when I first started noticing. A few weeks later, I kissed her. We stopped and never even mentioned it. Just acted like it never happened. And then Angelus came-"

"Who has an obsession with her." Buffy hissed.

"I think Angelus might love her." Angel admitted.

"BLOODY HELL!" Hostile 17 shouted, jumping from his chair. "Angelus loves Red?"

"Well didn't you see that betrayed look on his face when she restored his soul again?" the black man asked. "I'd say he's got it bad."

"You bloody wankers don't get it." Spike...that was his name...said vehemently, "My bastard grandesire doesn't love."

"Spike's right." Angel agreed. " Angelus obsesses and possesses. And he pretty much hates Willow for making him love her."

"Is she in danger from him?" Dawn asked.

"Danger of being turned." Angel said flatly. "In his mind, Willow is his mate."

"Bloody hell." Spike muttered again.

"And what is she to you?" Buffy demanded.

Angel rubbed the back of his head. "I have feelings for her. I love her. I'm close to being in love with her. But..I haven't seen her in a long time. And she probably hates me."

"Probably?" Faith scoffed. "You screwed her and then told her 'thanks for not making a big deal' before she had a chance to. Sex is a big deal to Red, whether the magic freed her inhibitions a bit or not."

"Faith's right." Xander agreed, speaking for the first time in a while. I was surprised at how angry he looked. "And you should have known that Deadboy."

"Can everyone stop worrying about Willow for a minute. She betrayed me." Buffy declared. "How could she do that to me?"

"She made a fucking mistake!" Xander yelled. "And then she stood back and watched Deadboy fawn all over you while she probably loved him."

"He was _my _boyfriend. And now I find out, all the time I was left fawning over him and he wasn't even thinking of me like he made it seem."

"I never said I was brooding over you." Angel explained. "I still care for you Buffy."

"You _care_ for me." she said scornfully. "Aw thanks."

Angel sighed. And wasn't that just wierd? For something that didn't breath to sigh? "Buffy, you're in love with someone else. Why is this such a big deal?"

"Because I never cheated on you." she replied, hands on hips. "And especially not with your best friend."

"What is the point of all of this?" Dawn demanded suddenly. "We're not accomplishing anything with this arguement."

There was a tense silence after this and finally, Angel spoke.

"The point is...we need to find her. Let her know she can come back. All her secrets are known now."

"Maybe not all." came a sing-song voice from the door.


	27. to taste your beating heart

**One day earlier in Ireland**

**Willow's POV**

"Mum!" Micah yelled through the bathroom door. "Are ya cryin' again?"

I smiled despite myself and wiped the tears from my face. Of course coming into the bathroom couldn't hide that from them. They knew I was crying. I'm just glad that Gran had passed when they still didn't quite understand. They had missed her but they didn't know she was never coming back. As sad as it was, they barely remembered her anymore. I cleared my throat before answering my daughter. "Just...brushing my teeth." I lied.

"Somebody's knocking at the door." she responded.

Hurriedly drying my face of any crying evidence, I emerged from the bathroom and hurried past her to the front door. Ryan was barking like crazy, sniffing the door and pawing.

I used my leg to block his access and cracked the door open. No one was on the front stoop. "Hello?"

"..help...please. hel- me." The voice was broken and weak, accompanied with a few whimpers of pain. Opening the door wider, I told the kids to go sit down and I stepped onto the porch, looking around for anyone in need of help.

"Daddy will be so pleased." It was the voice from my nightmares and it came only a split second before something was brought down on my head. Immediately, everything went black and I crumbled onto the stone porch.

**Micah's POV**

"Children!"

Me and Jesse walked back to the door. Ma was on the ground and bleeding on her head but another pretty woman was beside her, turning her onto her back. We both stood there in silence, my tummy hurting from seeing mama hurt.

"I need you to help me get her inside." the lady told us, starting to pick mama up by the shoulders. Jesse and I hurried onto the porch to help her.

I had just grabbed mama's leg when the woman grabbed me. "Mama! 'elp me!" I screamed, my voice getting choked up. I was scared.

"Shh. Dearies, I'm taking you to your daddy." the lady whispered, holding me tighter when I tried to kick away from her.

"We don't know 'im! You 'urt Mama!" Jesse yelled.

"Let us go!" I joined in his screams.

The lady didn't seem to care though. She started walking away, Ryan trailing behind us with a wagging tail. Didn't he know we needed help?

**Willow's POV**

My head was pounding as soon as I cracked my eyes open. Aghhh. It hurt. The sun in my face wasn't helping.

Wait. Sun? Wasn't it dark when I answered the door?

And then it hit me. Oh God! And it wasn't even morning sun. I would guess it was already mid-afternoon by now.

I scrambled to my feet and into the house. "JESSE! MICAH!...RYAN! KIDS!" I was aware that I was screaming now, hurrying from Gran's old room to the kitchen. My room and then the twins'. I checked the laundry room and the bathroom and then the livingroom again. And they weren't here.

Refusing to give into the urge to cry, I bit my trembling bottom lip. Refusing to think of the things Drusilla could do to them, I took a few deep breaths and concentrated.

I didn't know Drusilla's essence well enough to find lock in on her. I tried for Jesse and Micah but they were too far away. I didn't have time for a locator spell, but I remembered what Drusilla had said. 'Daddy will be so pleased.'

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the link between my soul and his. I needed to be stealthy this time, so I thought of a different trans-location spell, one with less flash but just as effective.

The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes and standing in the doorway of a small...magic shop? I heard lots of talking, about me, and turned to lock the front door.


	28. For which I have to howl

**Xander's POV**

"Maybe not all."

We all turned to the door at the same moment and sat there in silence until, "Dru? Pet, what the hell are you doing here?"

"My Spikey, I have a surprise for Daddy."

Now Angel looked wary. When the tough vampire guys look nervous, something is really bad. "What is it Dru?" To Angel's credit, he sounded very un-affected.

"I brought you another princess and prince." she smiled. "They want to meet their daddy."

Angel furrowed his brows. "I haven't made any more childer, Dru."

"Oh, yes you have." she sing-songed. Walking toward the youngest boy of the L.A. crew, she ran a nail along his shoulder. "Just like him. Only not so big."

"What?" Buffy spoke up. "He's a vampire?" She stood quickly. "You don't feel lik-"

Angel sighed. "He's not. He's human but he's my son."

Buffy went beet red. "What? How is t- No. That's not possible."

"Well, it happened." Cordelia interjected.

"It's true, Buffy." Angel said quickly and then turning back to Dru. "What do you mean I have another prince and princess, Dru? I haven't even-"

"Oh dear Lord." Giles gasped. "Willow."

"What?" Buffy spoke up. "No! Vampires can't have kids. They can't. It's n-"

"Bloody hell, Slayer. They obviously can. Or at least, Peaches can."

"You think Willow got pregnant from..." Angel trailed off. "No. I would have known if she was. She wasn't. She-"

"Was never around you." I put in for him. "She avoided you...therefore, all of us, during the last two weeks of her stay."

"And remember how Oz said they'd been getting back together and then she just drifted away from him?" Cordy put in. "Holy crap. Willow might-"

"Willow might kill Drusilla." Willow interrupted, moving into the room. Nobody had heard her.

After only a slight hesitation, "Is this true!" Angel demanded.

I was about to yell at him for talking to her like that but Willow didn't even look his way. Her eyes locked on Drusilla and she put her hand out and waved Dru over.

Drusilla literally glided across the floor, paralyzed, and into Willow outstretched hand. It went around the vampires throat. "WHERE. ARE. THEY."

Drusilla giggled and Willow's hair started to turn white. "They're having a tea party...two babies and a puppy."

Suddenly, Willow's arm lifted Drusilla off of the floor and she swung down with all her might, slamming the vampire onto the ground and coming down on a knee beside her. "You are not this fucking insane! Tell me right now where they are!"

A loud whimper escaped Drusilla's throat and for the first time I'd ever seen, she looked scared. "The stars said nothing about mama bear being white."

Willow screeched in frustration. "For every spot of blood, every spot even vaguely resembling a bruise, I'm going to stab you. If one of my kids has to go to the hospital, you'll be scattering in the wind, and if..." she couldn't say it. " If they die, I'll torture you months first."

"I would never hurt Daddy's little princess."

"They don't belong to your DADDY!" Willow screamed. "And what about Jesse? The boy? Did you hurt him?"

Drusilla shook her head frantically. "No, little tree, I didn't hurt my brother or sister."

"They're not related to you, you psychotic bitch." She pulled back an arm and threw all her weight into a vicious punch to Dru's nose. Blood splattered and Spike scrambled to his feet and jerked Willow up.

"Red! Stop! Y-"

Spike didn't finish his sentence because within seconds, Willow headbutted him and then spun around with a kick to the chin. Spike went sprawling. "All of you...stay back. I'm not joking. Now, Dru. Tell me where my kids are. And no fucking riddles."

Drusilla whimpered again. "Daddy's house."

Willow stepped forward as if to throttle her but Angel stepped forward. "She probably means my old mansion."

Willow sent another glare Drusilla's way. "Everything I said...was dead serious. Drusilla, I should kill you now anyway."

"I did it for Daddy." Drusilla started to wail.

Willow rolled her eyes and met my eyes. 'Hey. I'll see _you_ later.' she said into my mind. 'Your place...an hour.' I gave a barely perceptible nod and she turned to go.

"Willow-" Angel started.

"Oh and thanks," she interrupted with a sarcastic lilt to her voice, "for not making a big deal about this." She ran out of the shop then, with more than vampire speed.

"Come on!" Angel barked, running after her with Connor, Faith, Spike, Dru, and Buffy on his heels. The rest of us followed at a more sedate pace.


	29. And says his prayers by night

**Willow's POV**

Pushing open the door to Angel's mansion, I sent out a few tendrils of magic and found three minions. All close together, so I assumed my kids were near them.

"Hello?" I called and waited as I heard two of them come closer. They both stepped into the little entryway at the same time. "Are Micah and Jesse here?" I asked.

One grinned ferally. "Sorry. You have the wrong place."

I shook my head. "No. I'm pretty sure they're here. Four years old. Brunette boy and a little redheaded girl. Both adorable. Really sweet. Vampire father...witch mother." With the last words, I didn't wait for the confusion to end. I threw out two fireballs, which caught on and burned them down quicker than they could yell. Good as a stake, they were.

I stepped into the large livingroom and saw the remaining minion holding one of my kids in each arm. My temper sky rocketed and my hair went white again. "Look...vamp guy. Drusilla hired you, I expect?" I asked.

He nodded, anxiously tightening his hold on my kids.

"Well, I'm a witch. If you didn't know. She didn't know that I've gotten stronger over the last few years. And you must know how women are about their kids..."

"Y-yes."

"Well, right now, you're pissing me off." I said evenly. "Now, set them both down and you can run along before I get a clear target on you."

"I-"

"Or I'll freeze you, pull them out of your arms, and slowly burn you to death." I added. I knew my magic was draining fast, but I could probably kill him before passing out.

"Bu-"

"No buts! No questions! Take your pick." I demanded.

The minion dropped Micah and Jesse to their feet and took off toward the front door. I ignored him and hurried toward my babies. "Mama! We're so sorry! She tricked us!"

"She 'urt you! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assured them, petting their heads and glorying in being with them again. I pulled back suddenly, catching Micah's brown eyes and then Jesse's green ones. "Are you two okay? Did they try to bite you?"

"Was those vampires, ma?"

"Yeah, baby, they were." I whispered, pulling them to me again.

"Did they really know our daddy?"

"The lady did." I conceded, not wanting to lie. "But we have to go now."

"Ryan!" Micah called, bringing the shaggy black and white dog running to us. "Are we going home, ma?"

"Yeah. But not until tomorrow. I'm too tired to go tonight."

"Where are we?"

"California."

"In America?" Jesse exclaimed. "Is this where you lived?"

"Yeah. When I was little."

"It's warmer here." Micah commented. I nodded in agreement. "Can we come back without the vampires again?"

I chuckled a little. "Yeah. I think we can start coming to see your Uncle Xander."

"We get to meet him?" Jesse asked, excited. I'd told them all about Xander.

"Yup. We're going right now." I promised.

**Angel's POV**

I was frustrated. It seems that whenever my emotions became too much, they would mesh together into anger. And I lashed out. Sad translated to mad. Heartbroken translated to pissed. Anxious translated to peevish.

Right now, I wasn't exactly sure what I felt. But I knew I needed to make sure Willow and her...our?...kids were okay.

Rounding the corner to the street my mansion resided, Connor collided with a fledgling and they both toppled. The fledgling was on his feet in an instant and I crouched down, ready to attack if he went for Connor. But he didn't. He only hesitated from running again when he saw Drusilla.

"Y-you never told us! She's a witch! The mom's a witch and she killed Burt and Michael! I quit! She would've killed me too! She could have!"

"Where is she?" I demanded, grabbing the minion's collar and pulling him toward me.

He was shaking his head back and forth. "Don't go there man. She had death in her eyes, man. She was crazy. She'll kill you. She said she'd freeze me and then burn me slowly. She can, too! The look in her eyes..."

Thank God that the humans of our combined groups seemed to catch up then, because Xander hurled himself at the guy and tumbled on the ground. "Snap out of it! You're a vampire for God's sake! Where. Is. She?"

"She's in the mansion, man. She...took the kids and the dog. She..."

We didn't hear the rest, because then we were gone, running again at full tilt. I slammed open the mansion doors and moved into the center of the livingroom. It didn't matter though, because I couldn't hear a heart, breathing...anything.

"Jesus, Angelcakes." Lorne commented, stepping into the room. "Her rage has imprinted on this place."

"I can feel her power." Illyria added. "It has grown and surpased my own. This does not please me."

"She's not as strong as you though, baby." Spike cooed to his lover. I didn't care though. I was pissed. Where the hell did she go!

"She can make herself stronger." Illyria answered. "She easily incapacitated you and your sire."

"Mummy's strong now."

"She teleported." Dawn said, a little breathless from running, as she stepped into the room. "She does it alot. Probably grabbed them and went back to I-"

The slip up didn't pass my notice though. I whirled on her. "WHERE?"

"You know where she lives too?" Buffy asked, incredulously.

"Not for certain." Dawn pouted. "But...haven't you heard the accent?"

"Sounds like a more dilluted version of mine." Doyle snorted.

"Ireland?" I asked, completely shocked.

"In Daddy's homeland." Dru mused.

"Doyle's accent has become Americanized. Willow's American accent has become a little Irish-y." Cordelia shrugged.

"Yeah!" the minion wheezed suddenly under Xander grip on the back of his neck. I just realized they hadn't released him. He was probably trying to get on our good side so he wouldn't be dusted. "The little ones...they had accents. Irish or Scottish."

"What'd they look like?" I asked. I had meant to think it, but I wondered aloud.

Minion was becoming uneasy. "She won't kill you for telling us." Dawn prodded, curious too.

"They musta been twins 'cause they were the same age. Three or four, maybe. But they were real smart and polite to be so young. The boy was a brunette...his hair was...actually, about the color of yours. He had big green eyes and I only know because they kept begging to go look for their 'Ma', said 'she's bleedin' somethin' fierce." I growled at the image, but he must have thought it was about his babbling, because he flinched and hurried on. "The girl had red hair, like the witch. Looked alot like her, actually, 'cept the eyes. They were brown."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I knew brown eyes and brown hair were common things, but something told me they really were mine. And Willow...she'd kept them from me for almost four years. "Their names?"

The minion shrugged. "Jesse was the boy. That's all I know." he said, begging me to believe him with his eyes.

"What now?" Dawn asked.

"I don't believe that we'll be seeing Willow again until we're in need or she's ready to see us." Giles said, polishing his glasses. "It would be best to just wait, I believe." Xander began to nod.

"Or try to track her down." Buffy offered. Xander and Dawn exchanged a glance.

"Yeah." Xander sighed. "Actually, I think we should all leave it up to her. I'll email her and see what she's thinking."

"Actually...maybe someone can track her down. Drusilla has been to her home, obviously." Giles started to reconsider.

"Email still seems safer. I talk to her almost daily. She-"

I scoffed. "So you really have been talking to her all this time?"

Xander shrugged, looking unaffected by my hate. "Hey! None of you cared. You never even noticed she was gone until a few months back when you guys decided Angelus coming back was a good idea. And she's my best friend. I can talk to her all I want."

"What's the email address?" I asked, ignoring his statement even as it crawled under my skin.

"Excuse me?"

"WHAT. IS. THE. ADDRESS?"

"I'm not telling you!" he barked out. "Why, so you can lose your soul and hunt her down. So Angelus can kill my neice and nephew for her daring to sleep with Soulboy instead of him? Or so you can try to bully her into moving back and sharing?" He scoffed.

"Hey!" Connor interrupted. "They're related to me too, I'd like to know my family."

"Well, Willow is their mother. The only one they know." He crossed his arms over his chest, dropping the minion. "Maybe if Deadboy hadn't been such an insenstive prick, he'd have them around."

I growled, starting to get really irritated. "Look, BOY, i-"

"He's right, Fang." Faith said suddenly. "You practically said you wanted nothing to do with her. She found out she was knocked up and prolly thought you'd either freak on her or be with her unhappily. Red's like that...she probably thought she was helpin' you."

I growled again, along with Connor this time. "She still should have said something." Connor sniped.

"Why?" Xander demanded. He looked to my son sincerely. "You don't know the whole situation, okay? In highschool, Willow had the worst self esteem-"

"And clothes." Cordelia cut in.

Xander glared at her, for once, seriously angry instead of affectionately irritated. "Like I was saying, she had the worst self esteem...wonder how?" Cordelia looked ashamed. "Deadboy dismissed her and she took it to heart. She wasn't putting herself out there again."

I closed my eyes against the anger. "You don't know the whole situation either, X-"

"But I know Wills." he interrupted. "And by what you said to her, you obviously don't know her." He sighed then, tired of the whole thing. "I need to get out of here."

"Did you want me to come?" Anya asked.

He shook his head. "I'mma try to get ahold of Willow. I want to be alone tonight." But he gave her a big kiss. "See ya tomorrow, Ahn. Everybody."


	30. Can still become a wolf

**Spike's POV**

We got back to Buffy's house quickly and even though it was barely ten, we were all exhausted by the emotional tension of the day.

The Slayer and her soldier went to her room. The bit to hers. Demon-girl left soon after, hitching a ride from the watcher.

We all told Buffy we'd do the night's patrolling before we headed back to the mansion for the day. We'd only just finished the last graveyard when I smelled Bit. It was fresh.

I stopped, sniffing her out and followed the trail along the sidewalk. "What was she doin' out here so late?"

"It's nearly four in the morning." The Poof commented, following behind me with the others.

"It leads up there." Connor pointed to a big white building. I sighed.

"That's the Whelp's place."

Peaches growled. "Dawn and Xander were the only ones that talked or saw Willow." Cordelia explained to the confused ones.

"They're probably talking to her."

We all followed the scent to the Whelp's door and I paused outside. Five hearts were beating, two fainter and slower than they others. "She's here." Peaches breathed out.

I nodded and raised an arm to knock on the door.

The Poof, though, wasn't waiting. He barged in, opening the unlocked door, and stopping when he hit the barrier. I snorted and passed through. Good one.

Red, the Whelp, and Nibblet were all seated on the couch. They stopped talking, all turning to the door at my interest and I smirked. "Red." I acknowledged.

She looked tired and wary, but nodded. "Spike." she said back.

I laughed. "Don't worry, pet. I'm playing for the bloody white hats now."

She nodded with a small smile. "Xander told me."

I shook my head, ignoring the circles under her eyes and the sagging of her face. "Besides being pissed tired, you look good, luv."

She smiled. "Being pregnant agreed with me."

Xander pinched her hip. "Got a little curvier."he teased.

She shrugged. "Gran said I could stand to gain a little more."

"HELLO!" Angel growled from the doorway suddenly. Everyone but him had hesitantly started to the door but he blocked them.

"Oh..." Red sighed, looking suddenly even more tired than before.

"You wanna ignore him, Wills?"

She sighed. "Invite him in. He knows now, best to get it over with."

"Come on in, Deadboy!" the whelp called out.

Angel practically flung himself through the door, as if the invitation would be revoked if he wasn't in within three seconds. He came to a stop beside me. "Where are they?" was all he said.

Willow rolled her eyes but pointed to the bedroom. "Sleeping."

He hurried to the door but was repelled once he got within a few inches of the knob. He whirled back on Willow.

"They're asleep." she snapped out.

"I want to see them." he growled.

"And I want you to leave them alone." she replied, looking almost lazy about it.

He growled again and started to stalk toward her. "I want to see them...NOW."

Red rolled her eyes once again but stood and walked to the door. She opened it and a large black and white mutt came running out, rubbing against her legs in affection. She left it open long enough to let Peaches gaze inside before shutting it again. "You can meet them tomorrow before we go home. Right now, they're tired. They were kidnapped, if you remember, by your insane daughter."

We all turned back to the doorway, where Dru was still stuck outside. She looked like she may cry. "It was for Daddy." she whimpered.

Red stood from the couch she'd just sat back down on. "I don't give a fuck!" she raged, her hair going white. "You knocked me out, took my terrified children from their home and left them with three fledgling vampires who could have decided to snack at anytime. You're so fucking lucky Drusilla."

"Why aren't you killing her?" Dawn asked, then flinching when she realized her question. "I mean...what's making you not do it?"

"Spike." she grit out. "His love for her is what's stopping me."

I rose a brow, completely awed that she was restraining herself for me. "Thanks, Luv."

She nodded my way, never breaking eye contact with my ex. "But don't push it, you hear? There's only so much before I'll flip. And pushing it would include looking at my children ever ever again." She sat back down, her hair bleeding back to red. Finally, she looked back to Peaches. "Your death glare isn't changing my mind, so go on home or whatever. Come back at noon, when we're all well rested and they can meet you." They held a miniature stare down and I was a little dissappointed in myself and completely impressed by Red when she never backed down. When she finally relented, it was with a sigh. "I'm not playing your little vamp games. You're not going in."

Finally, Peaches growled and turned on his heel before stomping out of the room. The Fang Gang followed a little more slowly, saying polite goodbyes as we left.

**Connor's POV**

I had been fine all morning. Dad seemed tense, but I was excited. I'd never thought I'd get siblings. I'd showered and changed and ate before anyone else and then waited impatiently for the others to get ready and noon to roll around.

But when we finally approached the guy's apartment again, standing outside of the door, I realized my hands were shaking. It must have started sometime on the walk over.

The dog barked from inside and I heard a little girl squeal, "RYAN!" before a giggling fit started.

"Hey! Don't mess up your Uncle Xander's rug!" Willow called out. "Come on now. Lunch is served."

"What is it, Ma?" the girl asked.

"Spaghetti."

"With garlic bread?" she asked hopefully.

"Whaddaya think?"

The girl squealed again. "Jesse! Uncle Xander made bread too!" There was the sound of a loud victory whoop and then scrambling. I looked to my dad, realizing we'd been standing there for a minute or two. He had his hand raised, but stood frozen.

I needed to get this over with, so I leaned forward and knocked quickly. He turned to glare at me but the door opened quickly. "Bout time!" the hot redhead said cheerfully. Whoa. She's like my stepmom, sorta. Can't be thinking of her like that. "You guys were standing there for awhile." The smiled faded for a minute. "One strike and you're out." she said, dead seriously as she met my Dad's eyes.

His brows lifted. "Excuse me?"

"One jab at me in front of them, I'll teleport us back to Ireland and be moved from my old house in a day. We'll all find out how great of a hacker I am. But...I don't want to have to change names again. So...come in. And behave."

We all followed, a little shocked and stopped in the middle of the room. The whole apartment was sort of smeared together, except for the bathroom and bedroom. Xander and two small children were seated at the table. Dawn must've went back home sometime.

The boy looked up. Like that minion had said, the boy had big green eyes like his mother and the same deep brown hair that Dad and I shared. "Ma?" He froze suddenly, pointing. "Ma! Tha's the lady tha' hurt ya!"

My perpetual scowl turned into a slight smile. He'd called out the warning as if Willow hadn't noticed.

Willow moved forward quickly, boxing the children in between her and Xander. "I know, baby. But she's sorry. She's just...a little crazy." she stage whispered. They both giggled. "She doesn't know any better, so just stay away from her." They both nodded. "But...there are a few people that want to meet you guys." She glanced up and rose a brow.

"Oh!" Dad stepped forward. "Oh. Uh, um...I'm Angel." He held a hand out to shake. The boy regarded him carefully before taking it.

"Are you our Da?" he asked, deadly serious.

"Jesse!"

The boy turned to his mom. "Is he Ma?" She looked unable to answer, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

The boy turned back to my-our-dad. His eyes were narrowed as if inspecting him from head to toe. "Ma' said he was real tall and dark. And 'is name was Angel. Just like ya."

I thought Dad might have a stroke for a minute. He looked to Willow, who wouldn't meet his eyes and then he swallowed and nodded. "Yes." he finally managed to rasp out. The boy beamed.

"You are?" the girl asked curiously. She sounded a little skeptical about it. "Then 'ow come we ain't never metcha?" Okay, I hated to admit it. But there accents were adorable.

"Because I never told him about you two." Willow spoke up. "I went to live with Gran and I didn't see Angel, so..."

"Did Gran know our Da?" Jesse asked his mother.

Willow smiled. "No. She never got to meet Angel." Willow kept repeating his name, emphasizing it, as if she was uncomfortable with them calling him that. "Gran and I wanted you all to ourselves."

"I miss Gran." the little girl said.

"Me too, baby. Me too."

"Anyway." I said awkwardly, stepping forward. It seemed like I was next on the list. "I'm Connor. Uh...your brother."

The boy laughed. "You're too big to be our brother. Ma ain't old 'nough to 'ave kids, is what everyone says."

Willow did look too young to have two small children. But mostly because she was so petite and fresh-looking. Not like most mothers you see.

I just smiled at them. "Willow isn't my mom. But Angel is my dad."

"Oh."

"So...what's your names?" I finally asked, curious about the girl's name since it hadn't been spoken.

"Jesse Alexander Casey." the boy stated, sounding proud. "Ma said she named me after 'er two favorite boys in the entire world...after me, though. 'Cause I'm her favorite now." Obviously, this was something had told him alot. "Uncle Xander an' Uncle Jesse." He leaned toward me a little and whispered conspiratorially. "Uncle Jesse died."

Willow and Xander flinched simultaneously and she met his gaze and clutched his hand on the table. "I didn't want to lie to them about anything." she said sadly.

Xander glanced to Willow. "You named him after Jesse? And you named him after me too? And you changed your last name?"

She nodded. "You guys were my family, Xan."

I heard a barely audible growl from my dad and supressed a chuckle. I was starting to like Willow, and as much as I'd have loved to known my siblings, I could understand why she'd gone.

"And I'm Micah Elizabeth Casey." the girl proclaimed, bringing the attention back to the names. "But I was named after...well, ma Gran, cause she 'elped Ma when we was still babies. And Aunt Buffy..." Even as she said this, you could tell she had no clue who that was. "But I ain't never met 'er." she added, as if knowing my thoughts.

"Micah?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

Willow nodded. "Gran was named Micah, but went by Mickey before she decided I should call her Gran." She smiled fondly. "She hated having a boy's name. But I found it online listed for boys and girls so..."

"It's pretty." I told her. I was rewarded with identical sheepish smiles from my little sister and her mom. I couldn't help but to smile back.


	31. Now there's no holding back

**Willow's POV**

After the spaghetti was eaten and all the introductions were made, I started to get even more uncomfortable. I decided to occupy myself, so I slipped my cellphone from my jean pocket and turned to my best friend.

'Watch them like a hawk.' I thought straight into his mind. He jumped a foot into the air from his chair and his gaze flew to mine. I know everyone noticed this, but I continued to look at him meaningfully until he nodded.

Walking into my best friend's bedroom, I hurriedly dialed the number to my newest, yet oldest, 'child' and closed my eyes, trying to order my thoughts.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. _"Hello?"

I sighed in relief, the tension draining from my body as my heart swelled up just at the sound of his voice. "Daniel." I breathed out.

"Ma?" His voice was only just leveling out. It used to be squeaky as he'd transitioned from boy to man. He was a bit of a late bloomer. Almost seventeen. Now that I think about it...he was probably only months away from Connor.

"It's me." I told him. I'd called him early that morning to let him know why I was suddenly gone, but I still wanted to check in again.

"Well 'ow are you? Ya holdin' up alrigh' o'er there? When are ya comin' 'ome?" he asked, his brogue thick. "Is e'rythin' okay? Ma?"

I smiled at his onslaught of questions. "Everything is fine, Danny. I just wanted to check in on you."

"Everythins' alrigh' o'er 'ere."

"Listen, Danny. I'm gonna have Keiran arrange for us to move. You don't need to do anything, just supervise the movers and all. And make sure you take all of the sentimental stuff. And make sure they're careful."

"We're movin'?" he sounded shocked.

I giggled. "As much as I loved Gran, we're too big of a family for a two bedroom. You'll have your own room in the new house."

I heard a loud sigh. "Tha's good. I'll still miss this place though."

"Me too." I told him, starting back into the livingroom. I didn't want to leave Angel alone with my kids for too long. "So, I'll call Keiran and tell him to get on it. We'll be back in a few hours, okay?"

"Alrigh' Ma. Love ya."

"I love you too, baby." I told him, my voice quiet and sincere. Flipping my phone closed, I looked up at a non-too-subtle throat-clearing.

Spike looked amused. "Was that your new bloke, Red?"

"Shut up, Spike." I had no intentions of telling them more than they needed to know about my life.

"Was it Danny, Ma?"

I nodded at Micah. "Yeah, baby." I answered, already dialing Keiran, my personal assistant's number.

"Um..'Ello?"

"Keiran. It's Willow. I need you to get a moving company to my place as soon as you can. I want everything taken to that ranch I was looking at."

"The McCleary Ranch?" he asked. "Or Holden?"

"The one that was less ranch-y and more like a big house with a big yard." I told him, not knowing the names and not wanting Angel to know anyway.

"Tha's McCleary." he answered. "Also the one wit tha big tree out back wit tha tire swing tha' you liked."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Listen, Danny's at the house. You two are in charge. Make sure nobody breaks any of my Gran's stuff. I have Micah and Jesse. And Ryan too. But make sure Danny gets a ride over there and that all the water and electric is on."'

"Water...electric...Gotcha, Boss. I'll 'ave it done today."

"And maybe throw a little money at the movers to set up the bigger furniture." I added. "You know, just to have the beds ready."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, and Keiran?" I asked before he could hang up.

"Yes?"

I smiled, letting my voice get exaggeratingly sweet. "Thank you."

He laughed. "No problem, Willow." I closed the phone again.

"You're leaving again?" Xander asked, looking heartbroken.

"And you're moving?" Angel demanded. "Running again?"

I shrugged, looking to Xander and ignoring the vampire completely. "I have to."

"You don't _have _to." Angel growled, standing from the couch.

I glared his way. "We _live_ in Ireland. You can't force us to stay."

"They're mine too." he grit out.

"No." I said, my voice dark and intense even if it was quiet. "They are NOT."

"YES, they are." he barked.

I shrugged. "Alright. Take me to court then, Angel." He growled again and I smirked. He wasn't even a legal citizen so he was pretty much powerless. "That's what I thought."

He looked destroyed. "I can't believe you'd use that against me."

"Well, believe it buddy. Those are my children. I'm not going to let you force me into something just because _you_ want to control everything. And I'm going to be visiting here now anyway, so..."

"Why don't you move back to Sunnydale?" Xander asked. "I mean...everyone knows now."

I just rose a brow, but my face softened for Xander. "Oh yeah. That'd be great. The Hellmouth is a great place to raise kids." I shrugged. "Plus, Danny doesn't have citizenship here."

"I don't want to see my kids once every year!" Angel snapped, bringing the grimace back to my face.

I took a deep breath to calm down. "What you _want_," I sneered, "is not my concern. This is how it's going to be, Angel."

"HA!" Spike barked out, unable to keep the laughter in.

"Damn." Gunn and Faith muttered simultaneously.

He growled under his breath. "No. It's not."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." I stated suddenly, sensing that the conversation was getting out of hand.

"Yeah, well, like you said...what you want isn't my concern."

"Say another word, Angel, and we're gone." I threatened. "I don't want to lord them over you, but I'm not going to argue in front of them."

There was a stunned silence in the room. Angel's eyes flickered gold as he tried to reign himself in, and that didn't escape Jesse's notice. "Oi! Your eyes change like Ma's and ours!"

"What?" The abrupt change in atmosphere had Angel confused.

"Your eyes. They were yella for a minute. Ma's turn black sometimes and white sometimes too. Micah's and mine go yella sometimes."

"Ma's a witch, Jesse. None o' tha ladies in 'er coven 'ave those eyes." Micah stated, rolling her eyes disdainfuly at her twin. I almost snickered. "Angel's a vampire. They _all '_ave yella eyes."

"Is that why our eyes change?" Jesse asked me. "'Cause our Da's a vampire?"

"That's the only reason I can think of, sweetie." I told him truthfully.

"Connor's don't." Cordelia stated.

"They don't go completely yellow." I clarified. "Just gold-tinged. And only in really emotional situations. But they're strong and fast."

"Me too." Connor spoke up, nodding.

"Sometimes when we're real real mad, stuff blows up!" Jesse exclaimed in excitement. "One time, the cereal box-"

"Jesse!" Micah hissed. "Danny said not to tell nobody bout that."

Jesse looked utterly confused. "But he's our Da."

"We don't even know 'em." Micah objected. "And Danny said." she pouted, her voice firm.

Jesse glanced to Angel, then me, then Micah, then to Angel again, then landed to stay on me. "Can Da know? Or is Danny still our boss?"

"It's okay if Angel knows about the witch stuff. But Danny is still your boss."

"Well, who is more our boss?" he wanted to know.

"Huh?"

"If Danny says no, and you say yes. We listen to you, cause you're our Ma and you're more our boss than Danny. But what if Danny says no and Da says yes?"

I let out a loud breath. They just had to be difficult.

"Who the hell is this Danny guy?" Angel finally burst out.

"He's my son!" I snapped, not liking the sound of Angel's voice when he spoke the name. "And yes, Danny is more your boss." I directed to Jesse and Micah.

"Excuse me?" Angel sounded like he couldn't believe it. About the 'my son' part or the 'more your boss' part, I wasn't sure.

I turned to him, feeling my power swirl and rise with my anger. Lightening crackled on my finger tips and Drusilla cowered back. Everyone looked apprehensive _except_ Micah and Jesse, who were looking at Angel as if to say 'you did it now'. "You heard me, vampire. Danny is their brother. Maybe not by blood, but he lives in the house with us. He's babysat them for the last two years. They just met you!"

"And who's fault was that?" he shouted. He was on his feet now and I stalked closer to him. Everyone started to move back, giving us a wide berth.

I threw a hand up, effectively putting a muting bubble around us to keep my babies from the foul language I was about to let loose. "It was YOUR fucking fault you fucking idiot!" I screamed. Angel flinched back but I pressed on. "Yeah! I hid them from you! Big FUCKING deal! You wanted nothing to do with me therefore...you had and STILL don't have any fucking right to them!"

His nostrils flared. "Just because I wanted nothing to do with you, does not give you the right to take my own children from me! I fucked you! I used you! Okay, fine. Think what you want. But they are still my children. And you had no right to keep them from me. To not tell me about them."

My jaw clenched and my nostrils flared to keep tears away. I grabbed his coat and we disappeared, reappearing in his old mansion. "Did you care about me at all?" I demanded. "I mean...sure! You loved Buffy, I get that. But I thought that you at least loved me a little. Cared for me as a friend. But no! You used me! Treated me just like Liam treated all those women. And all those times, I tried to cheer you up. All those things I thought and said...they were wrong."

"This has nothing to do with the problem. It doesn't matter that who I loved or if the sex was good or if I treated you gentlemanly afterward. Those are my kids."

"Are you saying this to purposely hurt me?" I asked, shocked at his callous words. Now I wasn't even good enough in bed for him? "Is that what you're doing?"

"I don't care if this hurts you! You're hurting me!" he screamed, his vampire visage sliding down over his face.

My fists clenched and unclenched. "You want me to hurt you?" I screamed back, slamming him with a bolt of power. He flew across the room and hit the wall before sliding to the floor, grunting in pain. I stalked closer. "Fine. I'll show you what hurt is!" I made it to his side and kicked him hard. "I kept them from you for two reasons." I continued talking as I kicked him in the ribs. He grabbed my leg and pulled me down. The breath whooshed from my body as my back impacted and then he was covering my body with his.

"And they are?" he demanded, wrestling to hold my arms down. My skin glowed slightly as it heated until he pulled away with scalded hands and a loud hiss from his mouth. I stood while he cradled his hands and kneed him in the face. He fell back.

"It wasn't because I wanted to hurt you." I told him, kicking him in the temple with all my might. His body flipped over. "It was because I didn't want your pity. You putting up with me just because you wanted to be with them. I didn't want to be around you...the man I LOVED and have to pretend he cared for me too."

He sat up suddenly, catching my foot before it impaced with his ribs. Before he could wipe my feet out from under me, I went down onto my knees, digging my right kneecap into his groin. He groaned loudly and punched me in the mouth, knocking me off of him. We both scrambled to stand. I wiped the blood at the corner of my lip and flexed my aching jaw.

He looked a little regretful. "Stop hitting me." he growled, snapping his teeth. I rolled my eyes and we started to circle one another. "I don't want to fight you, Willow." he almost pleaded.

"And the second reason...was because I was obviously so wrong about what kind of man I thought you were. And I didn't want my kids to have you as a father." He stopped walking suddenly, his eyes holding deep pain. I felt guilty, but I also felt gratified. "Good. Now maybe you feel a tiny bit of the pain I felt when you did a wham-bam-thank you ma'am on me, you fucking dick."

"Willow." he snarled out. I threw myself at him, not wanting to hear his excuses. My fist missed his face when he ducked, but I got a solid knee to his solar plexus. He clutched onto my leg and yanked me down as he stumbled back. I landed on top of him, straddling his hips. He groaned and then glanced up to meet my eyes. Sitting up quickly, his hand gripped the back of my head and pulled me forward for a kiss.

I ripped away immediately, lifting my hand from his shoulder and elbowing him in the jaw in the process. Okay. Now I was _pissed_. He grabbed me and rolled, putting me under him. My legs were pinned but I gripped his hair and yanked back with all my power-induced might and he yelped, unconsciously moving to stop the pain. I stood and let go when I was free. He stood too.

More punches and kicks were thrown but he dodged most and absorbed the others. "FIGHT BACK, you fuckING COWARD!" I hissed. '

"No."

I started throwing more and more punches, landing more and more as I let the power infuse me and move me faster than even a vampire could handle. He gripped my shoulders suddenly, halting me in mid-movement. I was breathing heavily and he was gazing into my eyes intensely. He smashed his lips to mine again.

After four years, he still got to me and I responded instinctively to the passion and adrenaline rushing through me, pressing against him hard. We were on the ground rolling around within moments and he was pawing at my shirt frantically. A loud, frustrated growl came from him and he grabbed the fabric to rip it.

Flashbacks hit me, unwanted, and I thought of the only other time I'd been intimate with him.

I snapped out of it suddenly, halting his hands and pulling away. He looked up at me desperately, his eyes pleading not to stop. I knew tears were clouding my eyes and I couldn't believe after all this time that he could make me feel so desired and alive after he'd made me feel so cheap and useless and undeserving of his love that night. "I hate you." I bit out in a choked whisper, staring at him in horror. Then my fist was connecting with his face over and over. "I *_punch*_ hate _*punch*_ you _*punch* _so _*punch* _fuc_*punch*_king _*punch* _much _*punch*,_ Angel." I stood hurriedly from his half-conscious form. "I hate you." I half-sobbed.

But I could NOT cry in front of him. Touching my foot to his chest, I trans-located us into Xander's bedroom. I looked down at his groaning and bleeding form on the ground and shook my head. Hurrying into the livingroom, I was met by stunned silence.

"What the HELL, Red?" Spike exclaimed, taking in my disheveled clothes, my bleeding and bruised mouth and my unkempt hair.

I sniffed. "Not now, Spike."

"Where's Peaches?"

"Willow?" came Angel's groggy voice as he stumbled to the doorway of the bedroom.

There was a chorus of curses and gasps as everyone saw him and then he was crowded with his team, trying to look him over. Spike, Faith, Lorne, Illyria, and Gunn stood back with disbelieved smirks and amused appreciation of my skills. But Fred, Connor, Cordelia, Wes, and Doyle all looked concerned.

"Ryan!" I called, hurrying to my kids. The dog came running and I touched his head. The kids, knowing what was going on, linked hands and I grabbed onto their combined fists. "Love you, Xander." I said to my stunned friend on the couch before we disappeared.

I crumbled to the ground in the livingroom, my body aching from the many floor-impacts I'd just been through. I wasn't used to anyone putting up such a fight.

"Ma?" I heard Danny's voice and then I was enveloped in a strong hug. "What 'appened? Ya alrigh' Ma?"

I pushed myself to my feet and nodded, clearing my throat before I spoke. Movers were hurrying around us and I sighed. "Will you take your brother and sister outside to play for a while?" I asked.

Danny stood up next to me. "Ya. Sure. You go take a nap, Ma. I love you."

I felt the first tear slip and I went up on tiptoe to wrap my arms around his neck for a proper hug. "And I love you guys too." I said forcefully, meeting each of their eyes as I pulled back. I forced a sad smile. "I love all of you so much." I pressed a kiss to Danny's forehead, Jesse's hair, and then Micah's cheek before going to my bedroom.


	32. Until I wrap myself inside your arms

**Xander's POV**

It wasn't funny.

Okay, well, it _shouldn't be_ funny. I had a hard time not laughing though. Despite the seriousness of the entire situation and the raw pain in Willow's eyes before she'd teleported away, seeing Angel all bloody and bruised from a fight with the tiny Willow Rosenberg was kind of hilarious.

She'd beat him black and blue. He was clutching his ribs and hunched over slightly, not to mention the bruises forming all over his face and neck, including an especially viscious one on his temple. His clothes were rumpled and ripped in places, and he had a bit of blood running down from his hairline and streaming into his eye. He kept wiping it away, but it just kept coming.

"Uh..." this was from Gunn, who seemed slightly amused too, but also worried. "Did Button just beat your ass, dawg?"

Angel exhaled a loud breath and nodded, causing Spike to let out a bark of laughter. "You refused to hit her back, you bloody poof!" Spike accused.

"Sorry I don't hit women." Deadboy snapped back.

"Unless they're demonic." the green demon put in.

"Or Buffy." Cordelia chimed in.

"That was Angelus." Spike ground out, his eyes narrowed and his voice scathing.

"And didn't you even try to defend yourself?" I asked, getting back to the discussion of the fight that had just taken place. "I mean, you didn't fight her...good. But I saw her nose bleeding a little. You-"

"I hit her once." he interrupted. "Then I was just trying to hold her off."

"How is she so bloody strong anyway?" Fangless wanted to know.

"Momma bear asked the moon and sun for strength." Drusilla sing-songed. "The stars don't sing to her...but they all help like her." I directed an exasperated look to Angel and he nodded in understanding.

"She probably means magic."

**Danny's POV**

I was surprised. That was the main emotion. I mean sure, I was scared and excited, but mostly surprised. Ma always seemed so scared and adamant about never moving back to America. But after that vampiress took Micah and Jesse, leading to everyone of Ma's friends finding out about them, she wasn't so sure.

So, the family meeting was held.

"You want to go back there?" I asked, just to be sure.

She shrugged. "I love Ireland." she exclaimed, sincerely. "I love the country air and the rolling hills. But I miss the warmth in Sunnydale. I miss Xander and Dawn and Giles. Hell, I even miss Cordelia." She threw her hands up suddenly, as if I was bombarding her with questions. "Don't get me wrong! We're NOT moving to Sunnydale. That would be too dangerous. But there's danger everywhere." She sighed loudly, putting her head in her hands. "I don't know, Danny. I mean...it's really up to you. Do you want to finish senior year in America? Do you want to go to America?"

I thought about this for a minute, trying to think. Since I'd lived with Ma, for the last two years, I'd been homeschooled. I'd been kicked out of my home and too dangerous to go to school until she'd brought me into her coven and her home to help me control my magic. I wouldn't be leaving any friends and I'd always wanted to go to America.

I also wanted to meet all these people my Ma mentioned. Letting out a deep breath, I shrugged too. "I just wish I knew more about it before decidin'. What if I 'ate it there? What if I 'ate the people?"

"You won't!" Jesse replied vehemently, almost jumping onto his chair in excitement. "Uncle Xander's real funny! And our Da and brotha are real nice!"

That just made my indecisiveness worse. These people weren't really _my_ family. Not _my _da or my uncle. A hand closing over mine on the table stopped my turmoil and I glanced up to my Ma. Her eyes told me she knew exactly what I was thinking. "Angel may not be your father and Connor may not be your brother, but Jesse and Micah are. And I _am_ your mother. Not even you could change that now. Xander will feel the same way. And Giles. Buffy...hell, she doesn't even like _me _anymore, but...you know what? I'll let you see for yourself."

**Xander's POV**

The wierd blue-girl was the one that answered the door. She was wearing a skin tight leather bodysuit and looking at me with this bland face that said she didn't care what I wanted or who I was. Answering the door was just something you did.

She turned away after a brief moment of contemplation, and then turned her back to go back inside of the mansion, leaving the door open for me. I frowned, but followed behind dutifully.

"Harris." Deadboy's exasperated voice had me bristling in indignation. Here I was, doing a favor, and he treated me like the scum under his shoe. I paused a moment to study his face, wishing once more that the bruises and cuts hadn't healed. As it was, just the rememberance brought a smile to my face. "What?" he demanded at my silence.

I shook my head, pushing my amusement away to deliver my message. "Where's Deadboy Jr? Or...wait...what would I even call Connor? Son of Deadboy?"

"Just Connor." the boy in question snapped, entering the large livingroom area with a sneer. Jeez, unpleasantness just breeds in this family.

"Don't know how Micah and Jesse are so sweet." I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

I quickly dismissed Deadboy's question with a wave of my hand and looked right to his son. Maybe I should actually give this kid a chance. He seemed to have a little hostility to dear ole dad himself. "You." I pointed. "Can we talk?"

"Huh?" he asked. At the same exact time, Angel cut in with a firm, "No."

"Fine." I sighed. "I'll just deliver my message and be done with it. Willow wanted me to tell you that...if you want...you can come over today."

"Today?" Connor asked.

"How?" Deadboy wanted to know.

"Can I finish?" I snapped out. At the silence, I continued. "She's coming over to get me and Anya in an hour. Since she hasn't really met Anya besides the Fluke thing...Anyway, she told me that I should invite you. She's popping over soon, so if you've ever wanted to visit Ireland, then now's the time."

Connor looked stunned for a moment, before turning to his dad for permission. Deadboy, of course, looked pissed. I let that fester for a moment before..."She said you could come too, Deadboy. I guess she feels bad about that beating yesterday and she changed her mind about the whole 'staying in Ireland' thing. She said Micah and Jesse wanna move here, but she's going with whatever Danny decides. She wants him to meet everyone first."

"So...now I have to impress some kid to get her to come?"

I sighed loudly, coming to the end of my rope with Angel. "Look, just because Danny isn't yours doesn't mean he isn't hers. So if you want on Wills' good side, I'd suck it up and treat her son with the same respect she's shown yours." With that, I turned back toward the door. "And if you're not there when she comes, I'm assuming you aren't coming. There will be no waiting."

I had almost made it out the door before Connor yelled after. "I'll be there!"


	33. That falls on young lovers

**Connor's POV**

We were gathered in Xander's apartment again. Only Xander, his girlfriend, my Father, and I.

"When will she be here?" Dad grumbled. Since finding out about Jesse and Micah, he hasn't been in the best mood. He was thrilled that he had more children, but he was very very unhappy with Willow. After he'd met them, things were looking up again. Then she'd pretty much kicked his ass and he was angry again. I thought it was kind of hilarious.

"Could you just shut it, Deadboy?" Xander snapped back. I wasn't sure if I liked Xander or not, despite his dislike for my father. You'd think it would make for a great friendship...mutual dislike of him...but I think Xander was a little put-off by the fact that he was my father.

"You guys ready?" I spun around quickly, taken by surprise, gripping her throat in my hands. I had her against the wall before I'd even registered who it was, pressing her back with my own body.

When my mind finally caught up with my body, I immediately dropped my hand. A warm, short, soft body was pressed into mine. I could feel her hips, her stomach, her breasts...everything. "Willow." I whispered, suprised.

She glanced down at up at my face, then back down to my chest that was against hers. I hurriedly backed away, my face heating up as I berated my body's reaction to hers. She's like my freaking stepmom, damnit!

Then again, I couldn't really fault myself too much. She looked to be in her early twenties, which I guess she was. Healthy, lively, and fucking hot. Just because my dad fucked her once upon a time didn't mean I couldn't think of her that way. Yes, she was the mother of my siblings but it wasn't like she'd actually been a mother-figure to me.

Xander cleared his throat awkwardly, causing me to look over. My father looked utterly pissed, despite his brooding, and Anya looked amused. "It would be wrong of you to have orgasms with Willow when your father already has." she pointed out.

I felt that blush creeping up again until Willow came to my defense. "Anya, you don't even know what you're talking about."

Anya, though, decided she_ did_ know. "Willow...you're much prettier than you were in highschool. You were attractive then too but you dressed like a child. Now you're much more attractive and he's a teenage boy. His hormones urge him to have orgasms with all attractive women. He's probably thought about it with me too."

No I have not! Well...okay, but it was a fleeting thought! Willow's personality was more my type. No way was I gonna use that as my defense, though. This was getting more and more awkward by the moment.

"Okay." Willow finally said, her face redder than mine was. "Grab hands. I'll take us straight into the house." She glanced to my father briefly. "Danny is very insecure about the fact that he isn't blood related to me or Micah and Jesse. I've assured him it doesn't matter to me, and it doesn't. If you make him feel in any way as if he's not important, you'll be roasting in the Sunnydale sun before you can even _think_ of apologizing."

Dad didn't respond, just growled under his breath and looked away. I think he really resented the hostility and dominance Willow was displaying but it kind of made me want to cheer. The world around us blurred and swirled and then we were standing in a small diningroom.

Micah, Jesse, and a boy around my age stood by the doorway. My brother and sister immediately rushed forward with hugs and all around joy for all of us, while the older boy hung back and fidgeted.

The windows were blocked by the sunlight streaming around the heavy drapes was dim so I figured the time change had Ireland at around dusk. "Danny, honey, help me with the drinks." Willow commented, leading him into the kitchen. I could hear with my enhanced senses as they clattered around with dishes and drinks. "Don't worry, Danny...remember what I told you?"

"Anyone that matters won't care and anyone that cares won't matter." he answered, enunciating each word.

"Exactly. Xander is basically my brother. Anya pretty much cares about nothing but herself and her relationship. Angel's a dousche either way and Connor seems like a good kid, if a little snarky. I think you two would get along, actually."

"Ma, I'm na tha bad." he replied, his accent thick.

"Yes you are. And I love you. So don't worry, okay? The twins want to go but they only count as one vote, I'm undecided, so you are the one to break the tie. If you don't want to go, they'll get over it but I'm not forcing you away from your homeland if it'll make you uncomfortable."

"Thanks ma."

"Grab the blood from the fridge. Enough for Angel and Connor too."

As they re-entered the room and started spreading out a baked ham and tons of sides, everyone made their way toward the table. Anya and Xander took a beer with their food, Willow drank water, and then she poured her children glasses of milk and glasses of blood. Danny got soda and handed one to me as well before Willow turned with the pitcher of blood.

"Did you want cow or pig?" she asked seriously, looking to me. I was completely dumbfounded.

"I...I don't drink blood."

She frowned. "Really?"

"Really."

"Hmm...Jess and Micah never seemed to NEED it but when they were babies, milk just wasn't what they seemed to want. I tried blood, thinking it was necessary and ever since, they've drank it."

"That's..." Xander started, only to cut off at Willow's glare.

"They don't like...attack people or anything. It's just a mild craving. Like wanting chocolate."

I swallowed thickly, confused. The few times I'd ever thought of blood, it had filled me with shame. I was not raised to think that my vampiric abilities were okay. Only my strength had been acceptable because it made killing demons easier.

"You could try some if you'd like." she commented, handing over a glass. "I never gave them human blood though, because at the time I thought they may need blood and I didn't want them ever craving it from humans."

I sniffed the glass. It smelled...gross. But good too. My mouth wasn't watering or anything but I wanted it the way humans subconsciously craved milk when their bodies needed those specific vitamins. It was on a primal level. Still, I wasn't sure if I could. I felt awkward and ashamed. And my father hiding his need for blood, never drinking it in public, that didn't help.

"Just try." Jesse exclaimed and I glanced over to see him taking large swallows. He set his glass down, looking completely natural and then start sneaking pieces of roll from the basket near him.

I took a deep breath and sipped the blood. It was good and bad all at once. There was an unpleasant musk about it. It was like when Cordelia had bought me my favorite hamburger. It was nice and juicy and delicious and then I'd tasted the onions that I hated. They'd been scraped off, but it was like the juice had soaked into the bun and no matter how great it was, that one tinge at each bite was enough to make me a little frustrated. Still, the overall taste was enough to go around it and I took a large swallow of the blood before setting the glass back on the table.

Everyone was looking at me but only Xander looked grossed out. My father looked dumbfounded, as if he'd never thought I could like it. Anya looked smug, as if she knew I would. But Willow, Danny, and the twins looked curious as if waiting for my verdict. I nodded and Willow grinned.

"That's cow." she explained, finally seating herself. She glanced toward Angel vindictively. "Who wants to say grace?"


End file.
